settling in to staycation

I'm not surprised it's been basically two weeks since I've blogged. Like I warned you all, life was really busy for a while there. Yesterday was the beginning of staycation, but to be fair, I spent most of it running errands. So today is the first day of really just relaxing. I slept in, had a tasty homemade brunch with my partner-in-crime (Polish hunter sausage = YUM!), got some laundry happening, and have made a grocery list. My plan for the rest of the day: balance the checkbook, buy some groceries, do some writing, play my instruments. Maybe be social in the evening. That's about it!
I missed blogging about Yule this year, sorry about that. I was busy at work that day, and then was out for the evening. So we did ritual last night instead, with two friends, and that was really lovely.
One book to report:
38) The City's Son by Tom Pollock. This was really, really good. I felt so bad for Pen, she was put in such an awful position over and over again. I loved Beth's guts and determination to see things through. And I adored the magic elements thrown into urban London: The railwraiths, the scaffwolves . . . I can't wait for more books in this series. The writing was gritty, the story intense and fast-paced, and the way the urban fantasy element took everyday urban things and just turned them on their sides was great!
Tomorrow we've got some afternoon/evening Christmas Eve plans, and then we're spending Christmas with a friend's family. After that, a whole unscheduled week of staycation still stretches before me. I'm loving the mellowness, the unplanned natured of my days right now. It's so different for me. Maybe I should give myself this kind of time more often.

holy water cannot help you now

I'm in the thick of the preholiday rush right now, so blogging will be short and sweet this week and next. Today I just want to say: I can't wait for staycation!! My plan for every day is to sleep in, write, make some music, read something, and watch something. Specifically on the writing end, I will finish the second draft of my novel. Beyond that, I'm flexible. Anybody have good suggestions for my reading/viewing time? What are you all doing for the holidays?

i'm bulletproof

At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself. Pursuant with my previous entry, I am still working through the commitments piled high on my plate. I do need to get those things taken care of before I can really refocus on the things that are important to me. But I'm making steady progress. I'm hoping to have enough wrapped up by January that I can really start getting back to my arts. And don't worry, I won't be doing any freelance during the week between Christmas and New Year's. That week is for sleeping, for watching movies with my partner-in-crime, for writing and making music and baking and going on walks and writing more. Not for working.
Books:
35) Days of Blood & Starlight by Laini Taylor. Just . . . wow. Really. Laini consistently blows me away with the depth her characters show, with her stunning use of language, with her creativity. This is just as good as Daughter of Smoke & Bone. And these two books have put Laini on my top-five list of authors. They're just brilliant, both of them.
36) Nowhere Girl by A. J. Paquette. This was a great little read about an American girl born in a Thai prison, and what happens after her mother passes away. I know that sounds depressing, but the story is actually quite uplifting. It's fascinating to watch Luchi interact with the world on her own for the first time, without the safety of the prison to return to. She's a strong, curious girl and this is worth a read to see what happens.
37) Black Swan Rising by Lee Carroll. I also enjoyed this one quite a bit. It's an urban fantasy in a market full of urban fantasies, true, but this one has some great qualities that set it apart from the crowd. While there are vampires and fey folk, the approach to them is a little different than the norm, and there are some other great fantastical elements mixed in. I believed Garet every step of the way, from disbelief to unsurety to reluctant belief. This book is set in New York City, which also makes for a lot of fun. I haven't been to all of the locations used in the book, but some of them, yes. I'll definite be getting a copy of the sequel to this one.
That's really about all I've got right now. I've been burning the candle at both ends a bit, so I've been struggling to remember any dreams. This weekend is going to be a busy one, but after that life will slow down substantially. Next time I'll talk about my writing projects, and maybe even give you a sneak peek or two. Blessed Be!

the moon holds the light

Briefly, as this is supposed to be writing time. Earlier this week, I had a moment. I could be cliche and call it an epiphany, but I don't think I'll take it quite that far. Anyway. A moment. I had a moment in which all of a sudden I knew, with stark clarity, that I am not doing what I should be doing with my life. And I don't mean specifically my job or anything. I just mean that my focus is off. It's been off for a long time. And yes, I've had this realization more than once over the years, but this is the strongest it's hit me in a long time. I'm treating my life as though work is the most important thing, when it's not. The creative act, any creative act, is more important than how many hours I worked today. In the end, will I care how much time I put in at work? No. Will I care how much time I put in on any of my artistic endeavors? Yes. So I'm trying to work through all of my commitments quickly so I can have more of my time back. I want more long walks, more writing, more reading. More music. More collaging. More experiencing life. I didn't come to New York City to work fifty-to-sixty-hour workweeks. It's miserable, and I don't think that anybody else really wants to do that either. And yes, this is part of the ongoing unfucking my life process. I really need to get my focus turned around. Less work, more everything else. But it takes a while to turn long-term habits around, so please, be patient with me. And wish me luck.

but in shadows it grew

I've been having a lot of strange dreams lately. I've always been a heavy dreamer, and my dreams often have narrative arc to them. butt he last couple of nights . . . Well, the night before last there are two I only remember flashes of. One, my sister J liked a boy with sandy blond hair. He looked like Riley from Buffy. All I remember is a flash of his face and then her telling me to leave him alone because she likes him. Two, I just remember Wil Wheaton following me around trying to be cuddly. (I know, I'm weird.) the third dream last night, I was staying at a boarding house in some northern town (in Alaska, maybe?) where there was often a lot of snow. The house was built backed up to a steep hill. I was friends with a boy who was boarding there, and he had an attic room. When the snow was bad we could climb out through his window onto the snow-covered hill. In the dream I was looking for him, but couldn't find him, and was blowing off a meeting or something to keep looking. The people who ran the boarding house were much older, and were shouting at me in quavery voices to hurry up and find him because I had things to do. At the same time, I was seeing a story about a mother and her son who were traveling to this town to live there, and partway there the son's dog ran away, and he was despondent about it. But then a couple weeks later the dog showed up and everyone was amazed. And hey, I just remembered dream number four from that night! I was at a gathering in this big house. (Yes, I dream about things happening in houses often.) I don't remember a lot, but I realized I was there because it was a cult ritual focused around girls who'd just had their first period. They would bring them to this house and take their virginity with a ritual tool for that purpose. For the girls it was a badge of pride to lose their virginity in this way. They were always decked out in particular jewelry for the ritual, etc. It was a big deal for them. I think I was there tying to learn more about it.
So, that was the night before last. Last night I dreamed about wrathful angels with swords (yes, this one definitely came from the book I'm reading right now). I don't recall what happened in the dream. What I recall is waking up terrified because I was sure an angel was in my apartment, and was there to kill me. When I finally fell back to sleep, I was at a partially destroyed house out in the woods. My sister R was there (in my dream she was older than me). She was wild-eyed, her hair was a thatchy mess. There were red stains on her shirt. I was trying to scrounge edible plants, etc., from the woods around us. R had a shallow Tupperware tub partially full of ground raw meat and was running her hands through it. Finally she called out, "We could cook some of the cat, but I think it's starting to go bad. It reeks." And she kept playing with it. (In the dream, this didn't bother me, but thinking about this morning really grossed me out.) I told her I didn't want any. Then a man (I was definitely still a child in this dream, so to me he seemed much older, but he was probably only around thirty) showed up and took me away from my sister. He took me through the wilderness and taught me much more about what plants were edible, how to find water, etc. We came upon a camp of people he'd met before, so they let us stay with them for the night. In the middle of the night, I woke up next to the blond man I was traveling with. There was another man standing over me. He was short, and wore a bowler hat. He said, "So beautiful" and reached for me. The blond man woke up and the short man pulled a knife. As they strained with each other over the knife, I pulled out the blond man's gun (which in my dream was more like a tube of toothpaste; you squeezed it to shoot it) and shot the short man right between his legs. And woke up. And saw a boy in a button-down and shorts sitting on the wood stove in my bedroom, and a tall slender man in a short-sleeve plaid button-down standing in front of him, gesticulating as he spoke about something. They faded after a few minutes.
Needless to say, I haven't been sleeping well.
Books: 33) Uglies  by Scott Westerfeld. this was a fun read, but honestly, I don't think I'll read the rest of the series. I just didn't get that into it. I know a lot of people love this series, so I had high expectations going into it, and it wasn't quite as good as I hoped/expected. 34) American Gods by Neil Gaiman. LOVE this book. This is only the second time I read it, and the first time was the year it was released (eleven years ago, I think). Long enough that it was only a hazy memory in the back of my brain. I love everything Gaiman does. I just think he's brilliant.
And now, I really need to put my head down and get some work done. Things in the office are so busy. We're all just scrambling to get caught up. Blessed Be!

these last weeks

The last three weeks or so have been pretty intense. There was the lead-up to my trip. And then there was my trip. I saw most of the people I really wanted to catch up with this time around, with one glaring exception. I got to spend a lot of time with my goddaughter and her baby, which was really lovely. I got a lot of time at Powell's Books, which was also great. And I got some good family time as well. I flew back home two days before Hurrican Sandy hit. I am thankful my flight was Saturday, not Sunday or Monday! But the storm means that this last week has been a weird one. There's been so subway service in my neighborhood for nearly a week now. A good portion of the system is up and running, but not my train. The office was closed due to lack of power all week, so my partner-in-crime and I have had a staycation. I know it's weird to talk about it like it's a holiday when so many people's lives have been just devastated by this storm, but that's the way it has felt. We got very lucky in coming through the storm unscathed. Today and tomorrow I'll be putting together a pile of items to donate to victims of the hurricane, and my office will probably be open on Monday. And that will be madness.
I gave myself a couple of lazy days at the beginning of things. The last couple of days I've really tried to be productive though. I'm purging the apartment again, and trudging through some freelancing work, and trying to get some novel work done as well. We also did ritual for Samhain on the 31st, just me, my partner-in-crime, and two friends. It was a nice evening, and a good ritual. Samhain is one of the two times of the year when they veil between the worlds is thinnest, so it's a good time for divination as well as contacting spirits. It's also our New Year, so the four of us wrote New Year's resolutions down and burned the slips of paper in a white votive candle. Did anyone else out there do anything exciting for Samhain?
I have two books to report, but absurdly, I can't remember what oen of them was. I know I finished a book just before my trip. But for the life of me I can't remember what it was. So when I figure it out, or when I give up on figuring it out, I'll report it on my recent reading.
A couple of strange dreams last night. First, I was at some sort of boarding school and was getting ready to leave, I think to catch a flight, but then my ex-girlfriend showed up. She was in mourning because her mother just died, so I decided to stay with her. There was something about a boy I was supposed to be meeting . . . something about him and a walk in the woods . . . it's all faded though. I also dreamed that I was still nannying for the family I used to work for, and while I was out with the kids Neil Gaiman called their apartment and left a voice mail for me. The gist was that my writing is good and I should keep at it. Then I left to go somewhere, and had my face done up, and was wearing some sort of weird spacesuit type thing, but the thing I was on was sort of a roller coaster. And someone passed me a gizmo to remove my makeup, only instead it screwed up my face so half of it was all saggy and veiny and unresponsive and awful. And I panicked about it, and they said they'd tell me how to fix it if I did something for them, but I don't recall what that was. The previous night I remember flashes of dreams. I was walking somewhere with Laura Bourgeois, out of a school building, and from an office there I'd retrieved a doll named Lettuce that was important to me for some reason. There was another dream about a baby I was holding, though it wasn't my baby. And I know there was a third dream, but I can't recall what it was. . . .
Anyway. I need to shower and get some work done. Blessed Be, everyone, and I hope you're all doing well.

so soon

Just a brief note to mention that I'll likely be incommunicado for about two weeks. On Thursday I fly home to meet three newborns and see my family. While I'll be taking my laptop along for writing purposes, I doubt I'll take the time to blog mid-visit. Have a great two weeks, everybody, and check for some new words here on Tuesday, October 30. Blessed Be!

standing on the threshold

Today:
I wish I were a brunette.
My cat scratched my upper lip.
The weather is perfect.
I have a lot to do at work.
I'd like to be in bed still.
I need to balance my checkbook.
Homemade pumpkin bread for breakfast is divine.
I have an Amanda Palmer song stuck in my head.
I'm not sure what I think of the book I'm reading.
And that's all.
You?

touch my own skin

It's beautiful out this morning. Clear blue sky, lots of sunshine, in the mid-sixties right now but it's supposed to be nearly eighty degrees this afternoon. I'm enjoying these last warm days before we really settle into autumn, but I'm also excited that Sunday is supposed to be fifty-five degrees and drizzly.
The busyness continues. Last night I played my clarinet for four hours, covering for someone else at a pit orchestra rehearsal. And you know? I really enjoyed it. Only ten musicians; it was really a chamber ensemble. I'd love to do more of that sort of thing. Tonight I've got drinks with a friend, and the second half of a volunteer copyediting project. Earlier this week I finished a proofread and did the first half of the volunteer project. This weekend I'm starting my next copyedit, for a friend of a friend. I'm also seeing two wedding photographers with my friend K, doing yoga in between those two appointments, and seeing The Craft at Nitehawk Cinema. I love that movie!
On the writing front, I'm hoping to get through chapter 6 this weekend. And get some more short stories emailed to my writers group. I really need to be going deep into my writing for the next couple months, to apply for that workshop.
I fly to Oregon in two weeks! Hurray! I'm really looking forward to seeing everybody, and am hoping it'll be a nice quiet visit.
I have to be honest: Lately I've been entertaining thoughts of a little house in the country with a big garden and some forest. Doesn't that sound lovely? To live more in tune with the world around you, to spend your time crafting and creating and gardening? Someday, universe. Someday I'll make it happen.
and now, I'd best get to work. Happy Friday, and Blessed Be!

there's more than flesh and bones

Happy October, everyone! I'm so happy autumn is finally beginning. I feel more at home in the colder, darker half of the year. I have every intention of spending many nights this fall in the backyard by the fire pit. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
My grandma is recovering well from her surgery. She's already out of the hospital and in rehab. I'll get to see her and Grandpa when I head home for a visit; that means I'll see them twice in one year. That rarely happens. This visit is going to be babycentric, aside from seeing my parents and grandparents. It'll be fun. I need to get in touch with a couple more people, and then I should be set.
Still working on the unfucking my life concept. I feel like I'm a pendulum; I make some progress, then swing back the other direction. But I'm making an effort; that's what counts. The apartment looks good. I still need to fix my desk, though. And I feel like the bedroom and kitchen could use some reorganizing. And once again, I'm erred on the side of working a lot, not on the side of having a lot of time for my own projects. Which is good for the checkbook but not for the sanity. Thankfully I finished a project yesterday, so the workload at home has gone down a bit. Balance is something that still eludes me. . . .
One book to report. I know, it's been a while. I obviously haven't had much time to read, but I'm hoping to rectify that on my trip home. Anyway. 32) Whiskey and Water by Elizabeth Bear. As always with her work, I loved it. Her characters are rich, and full of wants and yearnings and foibles and mistakes. I just think everyone should read Bear's work, she's so good.
Wish I had more to report, but I really don't. Just plugging along, trying to get everything done that I want and need to do. I really want to finish editing my novel sooner rather than later, and write some more short stories. Anybody else have any autumn goals?
Blessed Be!

there is a lock and key

Yesterday my grandmother had back surgery. Everything went well, and I'm looking forward to further updates today. I spoke to her the evening before, and she told me she was drinking. In the background, a good friend of hers piped up with, "You should drink a lot!" My grandmother said, "Well, I don't think I should be hungover for surgery," and her friend said, "You never know, it might!" Love it. Seriously, though, I'm just glad it went okay.
In other news, I'm going to create a pull list today at my local comic book shop. Because, you know, I need more reading material!
And, a dream for you: The other night I dreamed I was in this weird little apartment with my partner-in-crime. I think we had just moved in, maybe. Anyway. I glanced out the window and realized there was a little girl out there. Upon further inspection I discovered that we could climb out of our windows for roof access. It was snowing. I wandered the rooftop. There were people all over, doing their laundry, cooking over open fires, etc. That little girl I'd seen through my window told me that I didn't get any private roof space. I found a computer and got on gchat, but my friend K wasn't responding, and then I realized I hadn't heard from her in a while. So then I became concerned that she was missing. I went back inside my apartment, out the door, down the stairwell (big, ugly, echoing space with chain-link fencing in sections) and outside. Where it wasn't snowing. Nor was it even particularly cold. My neighborhood was a warehouse district, all hulking buildings and nearly empty streets. I picked up a length of piping that lay nearby, to protect myself if necessary, and start wandering around, looking for K. Who I didn't find in my desolate neighborhood. What I found instead was a gang, who didn't take kindly to me being on their street. They called themselves the K-inians, which was a clear reference to my missing friend, so I tried to talk to them about her. But they were angry. One of them grabbed me, making me drop the pipe, so I started calling up my magic energy to blast him. Then my partner-in-crime showed up, pulled me away from the gang, and we took off running back toward our apartment. That's all I remember. Last night I dreamed about being a spy, I think. It's all very hazy and unclear.
And now, it's time to get to work. Happy Tuesday, everyone. Blessed Be.

Mabon

Happy Mabon, everyone! This is a time of balance and reflection, when there are equal amounts of light and dark in our days. Mabon is the second harvest festival; it is a time to enjoy the bounty that the earth has given us and to prepare for the coming winter. This is a good time of the year to conclude unfinished business.
Tonight we'll be celebrating with a bean and sausage soup, roasted carrots, and corn bread. And wine, of course. A quiet ritual, just three of us. I'm not sure yet if we'll do it in the backyard or in the apartment. Either way, it's going to be a good celebration.
This holiday is the beginning of my drawing-inward time. I'm a winter witch at heart, and with the days finally beginning to carry the crisp snap of autumn on the air, I want to be home more. I want to be in the backyard. I want to start baking again. I want to cleanse my apartment and then spend a lot of time there, reading and writing and making magic.
What are you all doing to celebrate the harvest?
Blessed Be!

my love has concrete feet

I've not slept well for the last two nights, so I feel a bit vague in my head. I'm sure it'll pass, but it's frustrating to be tired and lethargic when I have so much to get done. Last night it was mostly Zoe who kept me up, plus a sudden downpour early this morning. The night before it was partially Zoe and partially a strange dream or two (including one where my partner-in-crime and my best friend were driving me to the airport but then decided we had to stop for church service, and I was really frustrated and couldn't find my pocket watch, and then they disappeared and I thought I was going to miss my flight), but it was mostly my new recurring dream. Once every week or two, I dream that there's someone in my apartment. It's the same someone every time. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. Next time I wake up from that, I'm jumping straight into a ritual to figure out what's going on.
I'm slamming through a lot of freelance work right now as well, so there hasn't been any writing or much of a social life. I did go to paintball on Saturday evening for my partner-in-crime's birthday party, followed by the bar. Paintball was more fun than I thought it would be, honestly. And I walked away with only one humongous bruise and several little ones!
Even though I'm so busy, I'm still trying to simplify, to get back to the things that are important to me. After I finish this copyedit tonight I'll have more time, so yoga twice a week will start again, and I'll start back up with both novel and short story writing, as well as clarinet and bass. Don't worry, I'm not doing all of that every day. There's not time for that. My music concept right now is clarinet Monday/Wednesday/Friday and bass Tuesday/Thursday. Weekends are up in the air. I think I need to approach my writing the same way. Novel work on clarinet days, short stories on bass days, weekends are flexible. I'm going to try it.
I think my trip home will happen sometime around Halloween. My goddaughter's baby should be out of hospital around then, and I think it's decent timing for the other people I would like to see. Now I just need to find a reasonably priced plane ticket.
Here's what I've been listening to lately: the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack, Amanda Palmer's Theater Is Evil, and "Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence + the Machine.
And now, time to drink some coffee and get a lot done. Blessed Be, everybody!

it's hurting that's the hardest part

My sister J and her partner-in-crime were here for a long weekend, and just left yesterday afternoon. We had a really great visit: we wandered the Highline and Central Park, ate a lot of good food, hit a couple flea markets. We went to Strand, of course. It was good. Last night, after they left, I went to the Amanda Palmer concert at Webster Hall. It was amazing. She's such a good, engaging performer. The new album is great. I stayed up too late when I got home, of course, but it was worth it to go out last night.
The rest of this week is going to be BUSY between work and freelance and Doug's birthday coming up and etc. Wish me luck. I'll aim for a longer blog entry on Friday, but we'll see what happens.
Blessed Be.

but then you make me crawl

The long weekend was nice. Three days of a bit too much socializing and not quite enough working. But my partner-in-crime got more art up on the walls. I managed some freelancing and some instrument playing and some office organizing. We saw some good friends. Overall, a successful weekend, I'd say. Now I have three workdays to plan my partner-in-crime's birthday, buy my plane ticket for my trip home, and do a week's worth of work before my sister J and her partner B show up for a visit. Yay company!
There's been a lot of big life changes happening for people I know. Births, deaths, commitments, partings . . . I'm still just trying to maintain my zen. Things happen for a reason, I find. Which isn't always what people want to hear, but it's what I believe nonetheless.
My lunch today is a friend's brunch leftovers. I'm already looking forward to eating it!
Two books:
30) Interworld by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reaves. I had a really good time reading this book. It's a little more sci fi than Gaiman usually goes, and the fact that all of the Walkers were different versions of the same person was a lot of fun. But this one isn't a keeper for me; I just don't see myself rereading it.
31) Street Magic by Michael Reaves. I love this book. I have a copy in storage in Oregon, but picked up a copy in New York when I found it so I could reread. It feels so natural, the way the characters and plotlines come together, and although some of the characters are down on their luck, you can feel the hope shining through the language of this book. It's really good. Recommended for anyone who likes urban fantasy.
I should probably get to work. Plenty to do. Happy Tuesday, everyone, and I hope you all had a good Labor Day Weekend.
Blessed Be.

i will sell my soul for something pure and true

It's been a pretty intense week since I last wrote. (Some of you may have heard some of this before, and I apologize for the repetition.) Last Wednesday my friend L got here from Alaska for a short visit. Shortly after we got back to my apartment, we heard a man jump from the roof of the taller building across the street from mine and strike his head on a parked van as he fell. My block was chaos after that, and the body was there on the sidewalk beneath a sheet for a couple hours. L and I were definitely shaken. I find it popping into my thoughts often, even now, a week later. I wonder who he was, what drove him to jump, etc. The sound of him hitting the van. *shudder* Thursday and Friday were nice days with L, catching up, shopping, etc. Saturday was a marathon: wedding planning in the afternoon with a good friend, then good-bye drinks for one of my partner-in-crime's good friends, then a karaoke night in Midtown to see L one more time. that was a long day. Sunday I saw Romeo + Juliet at Nitehawk Cinema. The Leonardo Dicaprio and Claire Danes version. So good! We went out that evening for a few hours. (We really need to stop doing that on Sundays.) So, just a long few days in there. I was honestly happy to get back to work yesterday, even though I was exhausted.
This whole summer has been pretty crazy, honestly. I've derailed on the unfucking my life process. Time to get back on board with that. Starting September 1, I'll be working on my food/exercise/alcohol habits. And I'm trying to get back in the habit of getting a little something done around the house every day. Last night I handwashed a dress and two sweaters; that's not a lot, but if I do that twice more this week, I'll be caught up on handwashing. I am working on my novel every day again, so that's good.Tonight's pool night, so writing will happen at the bar. I'll swing home between work and pool to play my bass and do something around the house, but I'm not sure what yet. . . .
I'm covering for someone at work again this week, so I'd best get to it. I hope everyone is having a good week. Blessed Be!

she can search this wide world over

Summer colds are the worst. I woke up with one yesterday. It makes me a little glum, particularly since I had a really, really lovely weekend. My partner-in-crime and I got to spend the weekend with some friends in a lakeside trailer in the Poconos. I spent most of the weekend sitting on the dock, feet in the water, book in hand. It was perfect. I read two books! And did some writing!
Speaking of books . . .
27) The Night Tourist by Katherine Marsh. This is a fun middle-grade mystery set in New York City. Not a keeper for me, only because I probably won't read it again. But it's a good book.
28) Horns by Joe Hill. This is one messed-up book! I really enjoyed it. It's about a guy named Ig whose life is a disaster. One day he wakes up after getting wasted the night before and discovers that he now has horns growing out of his forehead. And the rest of the book is about how his life changes with the horns. Which makes it sound much simpler than it is. There are layers upon layers of craziness in this book. The characters are all shades of gray, not black and white. I really felt for Ig, and delighted in the twists and turns the horns introduced to his life. Some other characters I really liked, some I felt sorry for, and I wanted to punch one or two of them in the nose. Definitely recommended.
29) The Last Time As We Are by Taylor Mali. Great poetry by a spoken word artist who I've seen perform more than once. What more can I say?
Novel editing is going well. I think between last weekend and last night I've made it through another chapter, except for some timeline tweaking to make sure everything gels properly. So that's good.
Have I mentioned the workshop I want to apply for? Clarion West. The teacher roster for next summer is amazing. And they prefer short stories for applications, so I'm delving back into writing shorts.
And now, I need to get to work. I'm covering for someone this week and a different someone next week. My good friend L arrives in town this evening. Hurray! And I need to call my goddaughter this afternoon.
Blessed Be, everybody. Enjoy your Tuesday.

wherever she may be

It's a sleepy Wednesday morning for me. Have I mentioned that my partner-in-crime joined a pool team? Well, if I haven't . . . Tuesdays are pool night. Which usually means not enough sleep. It's always a fun night out, but it makes Wednesdays difficult.
Anyway. Some good things on the horizon: a trip home for me sometime this fall. A couple of guests from out of town.Work is starting to slow down, I think.I should receive a box of goodies from a friend on the west coast sometime soon. Also, autumn. I can't wait for the weather to mellow a little more.
I discovered a band yesterday that I love. You should all check them out too. Rising Appalachia. Their music really speaks to me on some deep tribal level. I want to buy all of their albums right now.
Book! 26) The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken. This dystopian YA is quite good. Full disclosure: it STRONGLY reminded me of the YA book I wrote about kids with superpowers. I suppose that says something for the collective subconscious, since we were probably writing them around the same time. This is a dark, violent look at what happens when widespread panic and paranoia spirals out of control. It's about children around the country who are taken from their parents and locked up in camps after they develop superpowers. I definitely enjoyed this one, and will keep an eye out for more books from this author in the future.
I think that's about all I've got right now. We might be out of town this weekend, I'm not sure yet. I'm still working on not overloading with freelance work. I'm hoping to spend most of this evening reading and writing. And on that note, I'd best get to work so I can get out of here on time tonight. Backyard, group reading, and chapter 5 editing, here I come! Blessed Be.

i've been raising up my hands

Work continues to be a monumental struggle. I'm hoping to be caught up by the end of this week. Cross your fingers for that! Aside from that, I've just been trying to reinstate more of a routine at home. A bit of unfucking. Some sleep. You know, the usual.
We did ritual last Wednesday for Lughnasadh, and it was nice, but lately I've felt like my practice is missing something. I need to spend some time thinking about that, see if I can figure out what I'm missing and how to resolve it.
I (sadly) haven't had much time for writing lately, but have started to get back into it. I really want to cut back on everything else I'm doing so I can slam through the rest of this edit. I'd love to have it edited, peer reviewed, and then re-edited by the end of the year. And on the writing end of things, I've decided to apply for Clarion West next year. The teacher roster is AMAZING. And six weeks of intensive writing work sounds amazing. So we'll see what happens with that.
My goddaughter is probably having her baby in the next couple of weeks, which is a little exciting and a little scary. I owe her a phone call today or tomorrow. I'll likely be heading home in October to see her and the baby, and whoever else I can manage while not making it a crazy stressful trip.
Books to mention:
23) Skylark by Meagan Spooner. this is solid dystopian YA writing. Lark was a well-drawn character, I enjoyed the unfolding of the plot, and there were definitely a couple things that I didn't see coming. This one just got released a few days ago. If you're a YA reader, I definitely recommend this one.
24) Shades of Milk and Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal. I loved this book. It's a comedy of manners with magic! Think Jane Austen plus the ability to create illusions. Well written, great characters, good suspense. The sequel is already out; I need to find a copy of it.
25) Of Blood and Honey by Stina Leicht. This is Ireland in the 1970s plus fey plus fallen angels. The cover copy really sold me, as did the front-cover blurb by Charles de Lint (who we all know I adore). And the writing was very solid; the Irish slang was believable, the characters were consistent. Still, there was too much politics and not enough fey and fallen action for my taste. The politics were interesting, but not what I was there for, so I was disappointed. While this is a well-done book, it's not a keeper for me.
I've also seen two movies in the last couple weeks: Moonrise Kingdom and Beasts of the Southern Wild. They're both really good movies. Moonrise is sweet and quirky. Beasts is intense and blew my mind open.
So, that's me recently. The next three Fridays are summer Fridays, hurray! I'll try to do some Friday updates about writing and unfucking my life, etc. Blessed Be.

dreaming when they're gone

Sorry it's been quiet here lately; I just haven't had that much to share. Work has been busy. I've had a lot of freelancing. there's pool night on Tuesdays, and social life, and trying to fit in some exercise. I've not been good about continuing on the unfucking process; I fell back into my habit of being overscheduled. I'm trying to pull out of it again, so I can really get some things done.Maybe I should set some goals for this week/end? How's this: See Moonrise Kingdom, finish this freelance project, do my handwashing, put up curtains in the office, finish editing chapter 4 and start chapter 5. That's plenty, I think.
There are a few things I would like to do before the end of the summer, we'll see if I can manage that. Deep-sea fishing. Another beach day or two. The Cloisters. The zoo. Another day on Governor's Island. Anything exciting going on out in the universe that I should know about?
I've got to get to work; there's far too much to do. I'll try to be a better blogger in the future. Happy Tuesday!

take me in

Sorry for the post-vacation silence. It was hard to settle back into real life this time. Not in a negative way; just in a tired-all-the-time, too-much-work kind of way. Vacation was good. There was some good family time, I got to see my oldest goddaughter twice, I got some girl time with my best friend A, and some good catch-up time with an old friend. My grandfather's ninetieth birthday party was nice; the whole weekend in Seattle was, really. Good friends, Pike Place Market, good food . . . it was nice. Even the red-eye flight home wasn't as painful as it could have been.
I'm swimming in freelancing right now, so there hasn't been any work on my novel, or any consistent music making. I did manage some housework over the weekend, though, and felt pretty good about that!
Two books to report: 21) The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene. That's right, the first Nancy Drew book. I remember enjoying these as a kid, and one of my book clubs chose this for our next meeting. I have to be honest; it wasn't nearly as good as I remember. I wasn't impressed by the story line or the writing. I guess this is one of those fond childhood memories that I should have left alone! 22) Above by Leah Bobet. This YA book blew me away. The characters, the story, the language, all of it. It's a difficult book. It doesn't take the easy way out. There are some desolate moments. But there are also moments of raw beauty, of gleaming possibility. This is in the top five books I've read this year, easily, if not the top three. Everybody should read this.
I haven't managed much unfucking lately, although I'm still slowly chipping away at my work office. Sometimes, there's not enough time in the day. The pendulum of my life balance has definitely shifted in the direction of work again.
A friend suggested I make a must-do list for this summer. Here it is:

• Zoo
• Beach (a couple more times)
• Cloisters
• Picnic in the park
• Finish editing my novel
• See a couple movies
• Read several more books

Anybody else have a must-do list? Or any good suggestions to add to mine?
I need to get to work. Today is already moving too fast, and I haven't been here for very long yet. Blessed Be, everyone, and happy Monday!

miles and miles in my bare feet

Just a quick entry to let you all know that I'll be on vacation for the next week, so blogging will be intermittent, if it happens at all. I will have my laptop with me so I can work on my novel, but I'm not promising anything. Have a good week, everybody! I'll be back in New York on July 2nd. Blessed Be!

Summer Solstice

Happy Litha, everyone! This is the second fertility festival, and it marks midsummer. Today is a day of revelry; it is traditional for handfastings to happen around Litha, and is also a good time for divination spells. From here on out the days will get shorter as we move closer to harvest, but today, celebrate the abundance of nature in high summer. We were going to celebrate tonight with a bonfire and a couple good friends, but since today is supposed to be 98 degrees out, we may skip the bonfire, traditional though it may be. We'll see how we feel about it at eight or nine o'clock tonight. I need to see if I can find some mead in my neighborhood. . . . Happy solstice to everyone! Blessed Be!

your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

Good morning. Not a lot to report, really. Just slogging through a LOT of work both in the office and at home before I fly back to Oregon for a week on Saturday. I'm really hoping for a low-stress trip. Some family time, some friend time, some goddaughter time. Some writing. And a decent amount of sleep. This will be the first time that I've left Zoe at home, and while I have two people lined up to feed her, I still have some guilt. I know she'll be fine. But the first time leaving a pet is always difficult.
I've managed to read another book since last I typed here. 20) The Vanishing Act by Mette Jakobsen. I picked up a copy of this at BEA, mostly because Erin Morgenstern (The Night Circus) blurbed it and I LOVED that book. This one was also very good. Bittersweet. It's a short novel about love and loss, told from the perspective of a precocious twelve year old. If you like your fiction with a tony bit of magic realism and a lot of wonder, check this one out.
Speaking of books, I need to choose what books are going on the airplane with me. Always a tough decision! I'm also taking some writing and some freelancing. Freelancing will only happen on the airplane, though, I promise. I'm not going on vacation to work the whole time.
On the home front, I've fixed my desk as well as I can, so I think tonight I'll be putting new hardware on and filling up the drawers. That's a big step forward in unfucking my office at home!
It's time for me to eat breakfast and get to work. Happy Tuesday, everyone! Blessed Be!

i won't keep what i can't catch

Last week was a little crazy. I had a good time with JT. Since then I've been really busy at work and in my spare time, and to make that harder I've been feeling a little under the weather. I still need to find the right balance, apparently. But, books! That's what last week was all about, and I got a few at BEA that I'm REALLY excited about. Here are my top five: The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater, The Darkness Shows the Stars by Diana Peterfreund, The Diviners by Libba Bray, The Curiosities by Maggie Stiefvater, Tessa Gratton, and Brenna Yovanoff, and Carnival of Souls by Melissa Marr. There were a lot of great book giveaways this year, and I definitely came out of BEA with more books than I intended to. It's just hard to stop myself when there are so many good-looking books around!
On the unfucking my life end of things, I haven't made a whole lot of progress at home. I've done some reorganizing in the office, and established that the printer LG gave me last fall does in fact work just fine with my laptop. At work, though, I've made quite a bit of progress. I've recycled a lot of old materials. I now have a pile of copyedited manuscripts to return to the editors. I've put some more recent material up on the shelves, so I need to finish that, and mail some things I've accumulated for other people. Progress! It definitely feels better in my office.
I have a book to tell you about. 19) A Local Habitation by Seanan McGuire, second book in the October Daye series. I love the characters in this series. Toby is so flawed, so easy to empathize with sometimes. Some of the fey characters are great, like Tybalt. I liked a lot of the characters in this one. And I enjoyed the writing, as always; it carried me effortlessly through the story. But the story itself was a downer. Toby pretty much completely failed at what she set out to do in this novel. A lot of people died. There's a lot of sadness, confusion, deception, and anger in this one. This certainly won't deter me from the next one--sometimes a series has to go into a dark place for the character to learn what's necessary--but I really hope the next book in the series is a little less sad.
I had a strange dream the other night. It was so long, I don't have time to type out the whole thing right now. In a nutshell, it was about being kidnapped and held in one room with my sister J and two younger kids for about a year. But the dream wasn't actually that year. It was the moments leading up to my kidnapping, and then the moment of our escape, and then the aftermath of it. My utter inability to deal with the people I'd been close to before. That dream felt like it went on for hours, and was immensely emotionally draining. I was wiped out yesterday from it.
Anyway. I would love to keep babbling at you all, but I've got a lot of work to do today. So. Happy Thursday, and Blessed Be!

and when you go

Good morning. Do you know what this week is?

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It's BEA week! BEA is the book expo I go to every year. A whole convention center full of books and people who are involved with books. It's pretty amazing. And this year I'll have a cohort-in-crime: my friend JT, who moved away from the city a year ago. So it'll be a week of books and fabulously snarky company. It will also be a week of very little internet time, so I'll just say right now, have a good week everybody, and over the weekend or early next week I'll be back to make excited noises about all of my new books.

Blessed Be!

i need to breathe

Last night I went to a party to celebrate the success of Amanda Palmer's Kickstarter campaign to support her new album. It was in a parking lot hidden behind a home furnishing store. There were stiltwalkers, and pirates, and fairies, and musicians, and firedancers. There was a structure with clear plastic walls that was filled with pieces of paper with names written on them; people were plastering the pieces of papers to the plastic walls. The names of the Kickstarter supporters, perhaps? There was a countdown to midnight, and a pinata, and a very happy Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman, and a whole lot of fans who were very excited to celebrate. And we got to hear the new album.
It's good. It's really good.
So here I am at work, tired but happy on a Friday morning. I've got a cup of coffee to drink and a scone to eat, and a lot of work to do. Blessed Be, everybody. I hope you have a glorious weekend.

i would let you

After a pretty good four-day weekend, it's back to everyday life for me. Sigh. Saturday my partner-in-crime and I went to the beach with a bunch of friends. It was beautiful. Sunday I went to a play reading at a friend's apartment. Yesterday I just bummed around the apartment. Later in the day our old neighbor J and her boyfriend came over. We had a couple of beers and played a mellow game of poker, then I crashed out. 

18) A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare. I read this at the beach on Saturday so I'd be prepared for the reading on Sunday, and enjoyed it just as much as I have when I've read it before. It's just a fun play.

Oh, and Friday? My first summer Friday? I spent most of that playing Diablo 3. Which made me happy.

Wish I could ramble some more, but I've got a lot of work to do this week so I don't crash and burn after BEA next week. Blessed Be!

it's gonna be an empty road

I just wanted to pop in and say hello before I dig into my to-do list for today. It's a drizzly, dreary Monday morning, and honestly, I'm enjoying it quite a bit. It reminds me of Oregon. I woke up hearing the rain pour down, which, in my opinion, is one of the best ways to wake up. I've got a cup of coffee, strawberry-rhubarb crisp for breakfast, and a short work week. Things are looking pretty good so far!
I finished a book over the weekend. 17) Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. This is a paranormal YA that's part X-Men and part romance. I thought the use of language was very interesting, very raw and visceral and different. It was easy to feel for Juliette. I thought Warner was completely creepy and awful, but he was so obviously lonely I felt a little sorry for him too. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in sequels, and would definitely recommend this to anybody who doesn't mind some experimentation with voice and style.
On the unfucking my life front, I sanded down the damaged spots on my desk. now I just need to paint them. I did some reorganizing in my office, too, so the storage is better used. And I finished weatherproofing all my leather shoulder bags. Progress!
And on that night, it's time to get to work. Happy Monday, everyone. Enjoy the thunderstorm.

understand what i mean

Good morning. As always, I've got a lot of work today, so I can't be terribly long-winded, but I've got two books to mention as well as some amazing food. So, without further ado:
15) And I Shall Have Some Peace There by Margaret Roach. This is her memoir about leaving her corporate life behind to move full-time into her country house in upstate New York. Honestly, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Not simply a recalling of the process of moving, fixing up the house, getting to know her neighbors, etc., Roach really takes time to dwell in the small moments, the reflective moments, and isn't afraid to really delve into self-examination. This is a really honest, thoughtful memoir. Definitely recommended.
16) The Hob's Bargain by Patricia Briggs. I went into this book knowing I would enjoy it. I've read Briggs' urban fantasy work, and love it. This one is a fantasy, and I did have a good time with it even though some of it is very typical fantasy. Definitely recommended for fantasy lovers, but not a keeper for me, as I don't see myself rereading it.
Yesterday me, my partner-in-crime, and two friends of ours got crawfish takeout and sat in our backyard to eat. It was AMAZING. two pounds of crawfish plus corn, potatoes, sausage, mushrooms, and artichokes. I would eat it again today, if I could. After our backyard feast, we saw The Avengers. I really enjoyed it, aside from a couple of very minor quibbles. I would absolutely watch it again.
And now, I need to dive right into work. Blessed Be!

i feel so symbolic

Just a brief hello. This week has been good. Productive. And last night at writers group B and J both said that my chapter 1 is much tighter and stronger. Thank goodness!
I've got some plans this weekend: dinner guests tonight, an evening out tomorrow, and Sunday is crawfish and The Avengers. Around that I'm hoping to do some work on my novel and some work around the apartment. And maybe go for a walk or two.
To continue unfucking my life, I've decided what my goal is for next week: Getting up earlier in the morning. That may sound like a small thing, but for the last couple of months I've been staying in bed until the last possible minute, which means I'm starting my day in a rush and I'm often late to work. No more of that. I will start being responsible about how I approach my morning time.
Summer hours start on May 21. I can't wait to have those Fridays to do whatever I want. It's going to be amazing.
And now, to work. Have a good weekend!

why do we

Happy Monday, all. How were your weekends? Mine was pretty good. Friday was writing time and then a bar with friends. Saturday was the Metropolitan Museum of Art followed by a Mets game and an evening out. Sunday was a beautiful afternoon gardening with my partner-in-crime followed by a good author reading at Word in Greenpoint. N. K. Jemisin and Paolo Bacigalupi. They were both very personable and entertaining, and there was a brief but good conversation about world-building after they both read from their new books. I am much more inclined to read Paolo's YA books now that I've seen him do a reading. Before last night I wasn't particularly interested, mostly due to the issues I had with his book The Windup Girl. 
And now it's back to the grind. It should be a decent week; work is heavily weighted toward the beginning of the week, so there'll be plenty of time to get everything done, even if it doesn't all happen on the day it's scheduled. I've got some fun things happening in the evenings this week (crawfish! writers group!) but there should be plenty of time to work on the novel and the apartment.
A book for you: 14) Skinwalker by Faith Hunter. I really enjoyed this piece of paranormal fiction. It involves some Native American folklore, plus the usual vampires and witches and such, so that was a nice breath of fresh air. The main character is interesting, with all of her flaws and contradictions. I can't say too much because I wouldn't want to give anything away, but I felt like the premise was well-executed, and I didn't see everything coming before it happened. I think my only complaint is that there was a little too much lust between Jane (the main character) and nearly every male character in the book. But I was willing to overlook it since the rest of the story was so enjoyable. Definitely recommended, and I'll be looking for the rest of the series.
Here's a question: Do you like my book mentions brief, as they are, or would you all enjoy them more if I went a little more in-depth about the books I'm reading?
Strange dreams last night. I had four familiars. A cougar, a bear, a fox, and (I think) a hawk. The cougar came to me first, while I was on the train. Which, understandably, caused a lot of panic. I thought the cat was trying to eat me, and I eventually managed to wrestle it into a headlock until the train came to a stop and the doors opened. After the other passengers disembarked, I released the cat and fled. I went to an information counter and started telling them to call animal control. And then the cougar sauntered up, like she was waiting for me to figure things out. Things are fuzzy after that, but I went somewhere and they explained to me that she was my familiar, and then ushered the other three familiars into the room as well. Later in the dream I was taking a walk in a snowstorm with a man and a woman, both of whom had brown hair and were bundled heavily against the cold. She was carrying a guitar, and as we crossed a bridge somehow slipped down the river beneath us. The man ignored her cries for help until he was done with what he was saying to me, at which point the woman (his sister?) had managed to climb back up. After that I can only recall a vague moment of someone shouting "Save the queen!" and I was there with my familiars. There was another dream earlier in the evening, I was at my old coworker M's house, and hadn't seen her in a long time. She had two beautiful little girls and was happily married, but her husband wasn't home then. We just chatted, and I played with the kids, and slowly other people trickled in like there was some sort of gathering going on. I remember being vaguely put out that I didn't even know she had children before I showed up at her house. And a third dream: I was walking somewhere to meet a couple of my friends (one of them was my friend J, but I don't recall who else), and my shoes fell apartment, so I snuck in through a back entrance to a shop and was trying their shoes on. I feel like the shop was underground but I'm not sure. My friends caught up with me there; there was a cute dog that we were all petting. I bought some sandals. We all went to this weird empty warehouse-type office building, and were all sitting around one room, and we all got sick.
And now I have to get to work. Blessed be!

the same secret door

I survived last week, just barely. Made it through the band concert. Finished the rush freelance project. And then spent Monday and Tuesday this week in a complete fog, which means I've got a lot to do at work now. This week has been good so far: a screening of Serenity at a local bar, Beltane ritual, and some time on my novel. I'm considering this the first official week of unfucking my life, and so far, it's been good. I'm starting simple. Work on my book, finish a project or two around the apartment, make sure to take some time to just relax. As long as I hang on to my zen about things, I'll get everything finished just fine.
And speaking of, I should get going with my work. I'm hoping to do some filing and recycling this week, but that involves getting enough work done first.
Blessed Be!

i touch the place where i'd find your face

Just a quick hello today, since I've got a lot to do today before I take tomorrow off. This week has been forever long already because I've got a rush freelance project. But I'm feeling optimistic about getting it done on time, thankfully.
Big news: Zoe slept in bed with us last night! She was skittish about it at first, but then happily curled into the crook of my elbow for most of the night. My arm apparently makes a good headrest. She even let my partner-in-crime pet her for a minute.
My band concert is this Saturday night. I think it'll be a fun show. But honestly, I'm really looking forward to May. No band, no rush freelancing. A couple of author events, some work on my novel, some flea marketing . . . that's about all I've got planned for next month so far. It's going to be SO NICE to have some down time. And some time to work on unfucking my life, as I mentioned before. I've got crazy long to-do lists for each room in my apartment, and I'm itching to get started.
Two books:
12) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Volume 3: Still loving these!
13) The Red Tree by Caitlin R. Kiernan. This book is creepy. CREEPY. Kiernan did a great job at slowly but surely ramping up the tension. I really felt for the two women staying in the farmhouse near the tree. All the "historical" stuff added an interesting level of fear and drama, and I liked the overlay of Sarah's dreams atop the everyday weirdness. Scary books aren't usually my thing, but I really liked this. Recommended.
Happy Thursday, everyone, and have a good weekend.
Blessed Be!

like a ghost into the fog

That was a long but good weekend. Friday night was a fun drag show followed by a late night of good conversation with J. Saturday was the Drowned Ball; my five cohorts in crime looked great, and we had a really good time. Sunday was brunch and then a lot of freelancing and housework. And now here I am back at work again. It's a blustery Monday morning, very beautiful and Oregon out, and I wish I could just go walk through the city for a couple of hours. Ah, well, maybe later.
I dreamed last night about a little boy wearing a sea turtle costume. Maybe he was six, maybe eight. He was sad, or sick; somehow he was broken. A humongous sea turtle crawled up to him and said "I can make it all better if you come with me." It turned and headed for the beach, the little boy by its side. When they got to the beach, which was lined with people laying on towels and sitting in plastic beach chairs, the sea turtle ponderously swam out a little way and called back to the boy, who was standing in the shallows, "Call the tides!" I'm not sure what the little boy did but suddenly the waves were lapping higher and higher on the beach, crashing over the beachgoers, who weren't leaving. I ran down to the water, shouting to the boy, "Wait, wait! Stop!" Another woman appeared. She looked angry. She moved to the boy and spoke to him in soothing tones, encouraging the tide. Then she stood up and approached me. "Leave him alone. He is my child now." I protested and we ended up rolling in the surf fighting. We chased each other up and down the beach throwing punches and smashing each other's faces into the sand. When we finally stopped we were on the boardwalk near the beach. I looked out; all the people were gone and the ocean was calm. The little boy approached. He took the woman's hand and together they walked away.
And with that, I really must get to work. Next time: a book or two.
Blessed Be!

spring cleaning

I've been in a funk off and on for the last couple of weeks, and I've decided that it stems from the lack of balance in my life. Yes, balance again. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something that needs to be done, that needs to be dealt with, that needs to be fixed. I am constantly on the go, continually working. But I am not sure that it's happening constructively. So this is going to be the goal for the next little while. I'm unfucking my life, as Cat Valente would say. And this applies to every aspect of my life. My apartment. My day job. My freelancing. My writing. My relationships. My music. All of it. I'm still pondering the best way to go about this, but I can tell you this: The first step is to get my social life under control. I love all my friends, but I have been out too much, too late, too often in the last couple of months and I need to rein that in. I can't unfuck everything else if I'm exhausted from being out all the time. This is not to say that I'm not going out at all. Just that I am going to be more particular about it. The second step, I think, is to take a break from freelancing after the project I have right now. A two-week break, at least. Unless one or two very particular things happen, I'll be giving myself this break. This, plus less socializing, will give me the time to figure out how to approach everything else.
Anybody care to join me in the unfucking process? It's going to be a beautiful thing, I think, once I get the ball rolling.
And in that spirit, happy Friday, everyone, and it's time for me to get some work. I hope you all get to sleep in tomorrow and spend some time doing something you love.

briefly

Sorry it's been radio silence for the last week. I've been sick all week, and it's really just taken all of my energy to muddle through the workday and my freelancing at home. So, just a couple brief things before I get down to work. Two books:

10) Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin. This is the sort of timeless middle-grade book that I adore. The writing is accessible but not overly simple. The story is great. The characters are easy to empathize with. It's really just a well-executed folklore novel. It's about a girl named Minli who sets out from her village to improve her family's fortune. Definitely recommended for everybody.

11) Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. I've read this book before, but it's probably been fifteen years, so my recollection of it was more based on the movie than the book. The writing here is lush, the world-building is evocative, and the characters are intriguing, Claudia in particular. It really made me want to go back to New Orleans and live in the French Quarter. But Louis . . . he's whiny. And self-absorbed. While I understand that of course he would come across that way, as the whole thing is from his point of view, it was still occasionally grating.

I'm now reading a book by Caitlin R. Kiernan, and after that I'm hoping to plow through some of my BEA books from past years, as that's coming up (only two months away!) and I'm definitely going again.

I have a freelance deadline on Monday, which means that next week I'll be frantically working on my novel rewrite before my next project lands. I may take most of May off from freelancing, tempting though the money may be. It's hard to be constantly working. But speaking of my novel rewrite, I think I am at the place where I'm ready to actually start writing again. I'm really looking forward to diving back into it.

Not last night but the night before, I dreamed that I was out in a park somewhere walking my dog when I was snatched by two guardsmen and hustled through a secret door into an elevator that swept me up into a penthouse apartment where my makeup and hair was done, and then I was given more stylish clothing. Then I was forced into a lunch date with a young man of some sort of royalty; apparently the royal family was looking for a good match for him. I was pulled partway through because I didn't give suitable answers to what the young man said to me. They gave my dog back to me afterward. A year later, he decided to look for me because I'd made him laugh. That's really all I remember.

And now I should get back to work. This weekend I'm hoping to fit in some shopping and a beer tasting around finishing my freelance project, but we'll see. Oh, and maybe a movie. Blessed Be!

hanging out with the dream king

Three dreams last night, or possibly one long one and I just don't recall all the connective tissue of it. . . . Anyway.

I was dying. Maybe. there was something wrong with my heart and my lungs, and my doctor said if I didn't die that day, I would start to improve, but that I would likely die. I was in the car--my partner-in-crime was driving--and feeling very weak and tired. We stopped somewhere to pick up my good friend J, who got into the front seat with us (it was a bench), put his head in my lap, and asked me not to die. The three of us went to a big outdoor picnic area, where we were having a gathering of all my friends. (Here's where I'm missing a bit.) The next thing I remember is fleeing the picnic area because a bear showed up. We were running up a mountain, through pine trees, and I was carrying somebody's child. We finally found a slender pass between two rock walls that we could barely slip through, leaving the bear behind. I was trying to calm the child, who seemed oddly intelligent for someone as young as he was. (Here's where I'm missing a large bit.) Then I remember being in an airport with my family. I don't actually remember who had just arrived. But we left the airport, and for some reason I went to this empty house that I was supposed to clean up/take care of, and I didn't. I slept a lot, ate what I could find when I was hungry, and generally hid from the world in this house. Until the day the movers came and I hadn't dealt with anything. The neighbor came over and found me in the closet, and together we started packing up the house.

Dying, running, and hiding. I wonder where all that came from.

let them wash away

Happy April, everyone. How's it treating you so far? Mine is busy. But good. The word of the year is still balance, for me. In light of that, my April goals are going to be about the same as my March goals were, since I started but didn't finish most of those. Two freelance projects. Revise my novel. Work on my apartment. To add to that, I think April is a good time to start taking better care of myself, so I'm going to hit the dentist and the doctor, and try to cut back on the partying vices. (We'll see how that goes; wish me luck!)

There are a couple of events coming up that I'm trying to talk my partner-in-crime into. Dead Can Dance is touring, and I've never seen them perform, so I'd love to see their show. Also, there's a crazy party here in the city commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic. A costume ball with live music and crazy performers. I really want to go to that. Maybe I will with or without the partner-in-crime!

I saw The Hunger Games last Thursday. Now, any of you who know me know that I am skeptical about adaptations. They're so hit or miss. And I LOVE this trilogy, so I went into the movie with some trepidation. But I have to say, I'm pleased with the film. It stayed very true to the spirit of the trilogy. The visuals were stunning. And I was pretty happy with the acting, too. I cried a couple of times--mostly moments involving Rue or Prim--and I don't remember the last time a movie made me cry. This was an intense film, with rapid-fire pacing and lots of tension. Jennifer Lawrence was solid as Katniss; I really appreciated how she let Katniss's emotions shine through. Like the way she shook just before the games began, and her unabashed weeping at Rue's death. Watching this made me want to reread the other two books in the trilogy. I enjoyed this enough that I may go see it again. And I will, in all likelihood, buy both the soundtrack and the sings-inspired-by albums, which if you know me is not surprising.

Have any of you seen any movies recently that really blew you away? Or read any books that did so?

And now, plenty to do, so off and running in the office. Blessed Be!

she broke your throne

This morning is colder than it's been for the last couple weeks, and it makes me happy. The colder it is, the better my mood is? Sometimes . . .

Two books for you:

8) Norse Code by Greg Van Eekhout. This book was a fun urban fantasy. I appreciated the Norse mythology; it was a refreshing change from all the usual British Isles fairy tale/folklore fantasies. I liked the characters, particularly Mist and Hermod. Ragnarok was deftly dealt with, and the underlying question of whether or not we have a hand in our own fate isn't overly pushed. I would definitely recommend this to other fantasy readers.

9) The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. I love this book. Love. First one in a while that made me cry at the end. It's about a boy named David who takes refuge in books as his family life falls apart, and ends up traveling to a magical kingdom. It's rather like a fairy tale; David begins his journey with help, but as he goes along there are three perils to overcome and by the end of his journey he is both alone and well on his way to growing up. There are many fairy-tale references included, and it is very touching to watch David grow into himself. Anybody who likes a good read should check this one out. It's a keeper for me, and not only that, I'll be looking for other John Connolly books to read.

Zoe continues to settle in well, although she's still quite skittish with my partner-in-crime. I wonder if she was abused by a man in her previous home, or if she had some rough male doctors at the ACC. But we're working on that. They had a good moment together on the couch last night. And as for Zoe and me . . . she follows me around. Especially when I'm the only person home, Zoe is right behind me far more often than not. It's pretty adorable.

A brief check-in on my March goals:

Cat? Check.

Finish apartment? Well, I've made progress. I have some paperwork to go through. After that I think it's just art and knickknacks.

Freelance projects? I'm on my third one. So we're good there.

Edit novel: I've started. I haven't made the serious dent I was hoping to make, but at least I've begun. After the freelance project I'm working on now I'll really dig into the novel.

And now, to work. There's plenty of it, and I am determined to make time to clean out my office in the near future.

all that i ask

Last night I dreamed that I was in some sort of reform halfway house for girls, with my friends A and C. We were the girls who hung out in the back of the room smoking cigarettes and talking when we were supposed to be paying attention. We were the girls who snuck into town after curfew. Etc. For part of the dream we were sitting on a table in the back of a crowded room smoking under a no-smoking sign. Then we were in a cafeteria, sitting at a long table, picking at our lunches and smoking and I had just found out I was pregnant. The father (one of my friends in real life) was really excited, telling everyone he knew and just beaming with happiness until I cornered him and told him I didn't know if I was keeping it. Then he got angry and asked, "Don't I have a say in that?" That's really about all I remember.

Happy Friday everyone! It's beautiful out right now. I ca't help wishing that I could skip out on work and go read in the park for a few hours. But, I 'm sure I'll get some days like that once summer Fridays start. Which isn't for another two months. Sigh. I can be patient . . . or I can try, at least!

Anyway. I need to be really productive today. Just thought I'd share the dream. It's been a while since I had a pregnancy dream. The first year or two that I lived in NYC I had a whole series of dreams about having a child. Her name was Cole; she had curly blonde hair. The dream last night wasn't anything like the Cole dreams, but it still reminded me of her. Anyway. Time to get to it. I hope you all have a good weekend!

a quick one

Happy Ostara, all. Technically it was yesterday, but we're doing ritual today. After I freelance and tidy the house, after I have a going-away drink for a coworker. We started at our current company on the same day, and he's moving out and on to bigger things.

I feel like there's constantly too much going on. I need to rebalance work versus freelance versus social life. I know I've said that a couple times already; it seems to be the theme for this year. Balance. I'll get there, eventually. But in the meantime, back to work for me. I'm SO CLOSE to being caught up at work, and once that happens I can spend some time organizing and cleaning my office. Thank goodness.

Oh, and also? It's Oregon weather today. It made me a little homesick when I walked out of my building this morning.

not a lot

My birthday was this weekend. Friday I bought myself a fancy pair of new shoes. Saturday I had a birthday party. Sunday I went to a screening on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. Monday I took the day off, and we had a backyard barbecue with a couple friends in the evening. It was a good birthday weekend, overall. Aside from that, I don't have a lot to talk about, really. I'm overcommitted on the freelancing. My writers group just finished critiquing my novel, so as soon as I'm done with the aforementioned freelancing I can dive into my rewrite. I haven't been good about sleeping enough. And it feels like spring outside.

I've enjoyed all the social activity recently, but I'm looking forward to scaling back on that and spending more time at home. I think that's my plan for the rest of this week, except yoga tomorrow.

And now, to work.

and if you go

First, a couple books to talk about.

5) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, vol. 2: I love the Buffy series. Enough said.

6) The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender. I really enjoyed this bit of magic realism. It was well executed. The characters were interesting people, and there were some really stunning scenes. I'd definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoys magic realism, or just really well-done books.

7) Pure by Julianna Baggott. I just finished this one on the train this morning. This is another YA dystopian novel. Call me a sucker for this sort of thing, but I fell headlong for this novel. The hope and despair of the characters is palpable throughout. The strength that lies within them is amazing, and so is how, even though their world is wholly different than ours, they all have moments that are very easy to empathize with. The world this book takes place in has depth and resonance. This is a keeper for me; I know I'll come back to it. And I'll probably notice things on a reread that I didn't catch this time in the layers of clues and lies. I want the sequel so I can read it RIGHT NOW.

In other news . . . I adopted a cat on Sunday. Her name is Zoe; she's a five-year-old torbie with pale green eyes and a squeaky meow. She's beautiful, and she's adjusting very well to living with us. Her favorite place so far is my laundry basket.

That's about it right now. Work is busy, freelancing is happening again, band is fine, home is getting there. And now I need to get to work. There's a chance I could get caught up this week or next, and I mean to make it happen. Blessings!

since i could say

It's been a while. Sorry about that. There was too much work and too little time, and then a long weekend in Vegas to visit my sister and our grandparents. It was a great visit; sunshine, antique fairs, sleep, good food, four kitties, triominoes. I do feel a little recharged. But it was hard to force myself to go back to work. I think I'm still a little burned out. I know I'm still working on the concept of balance. Work, freelance, music, writing, relationships. Finishing the apartment. That's a lot to have going on all the time. And hopefully I'll get a cat in the next few days, there's that too. Word of the year: balance. Word of the month: frugal. Or maybe simple. I need to tone things down a bit. My goals for March are to make a serious dent in editing my book, do a couple freelance projects, finish my apartment, and get a cat. perfectly reasonable, attainable goals, I think!

I've been dreaming a lot, but not retaining much of them, which is frustrating. Bits and bobs here and there is all. Lorrie's birthday party, at a pool in a Vegas hotel. Moving into a weird interesting house with a skinny low-ceilinged library room in it, knowing there was a demon coming, and wishing that Buffy, Willow, and Xander were there. Playing in a clarinet quintet only I was sick and really struggling to make it to rehearsals. One I remember more of: I was in a car being driven by someone, we were being chased by evil wizards, I was throwing energy detonations at them with my hands out the window. We got to this huge mall-like building and ran inside. There was a grocery store, and I was prowling the aisles, stocking up on things like bread and ground beef that I could roll into balls to ground my energy bombs in. Samantha was there too. Then I remember heading into confrontation in a long hallway.

so, that's that. Strange dream snippets and short vacations and month goals. Next time I'll talk about books I've read, but for now I need to get to work. Happy Thursday!

five lion kisses

On the subway this morning there was a short, slender man, slightly balding on top, glasses, holding his daughter. She had on pink galoshes and tights; her hair was corn-silk blond and her face was all lit up by her smile. She was laughing a lot at silly things her dad said to her. And then she looked at him and said, "I'll give you five lion kisses and then you'll be all gone." And he smiled and tickled her, and they laughed. And my mind totally snagged on what that little girl said. There's a macabre children's story or a poem or something in that, I think. Five lion kisses. Hmm.

the war isn't over

The last couple of mornings I've woken up slowly, groggy, remembering only snippets of my dreams. A party, a rock band driving somewhere in a van, a board game . . . the more I try to remember the hazier those snapshots become. The restlessness is back. It leaves me tired, jittery, dissatisfied. And unsure what to do about it. I'm heading to Vegas to visit my sister and grandparents next weekend; hopefully that'll help. Or at least recharge my batteries a bit. I'm a little burned out, honestly. It happens. I'd like to make the time this weekend to rewrite the last chapter of my novel so I can give the remainder to my writers group for feedback. I'm looking forward to starting the editorial process for this one when I get back from Vegas. While I'm traveling, I think I'll poke at Emmelina, see if I can sort out what happens with the witch in that one. And I plan to read a lot, and sleep.

Happy Thursday, all. Thank goodness it's almost the weekend.

thought it was a good solution

In the last week I've met two cats, hung out at a beer garden, worked a lot, went out for a friend's birthday, and made some good progress on organizing my office. I also finished a book:

4) Kitty and the Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn. Honestly, I'm iffy about this one. I like Vaughn's writing. I like the concept. I even liked watching Kitty grow and change over the course of the book. But . . . the werewolf pack came off as an abusive cult, and I guess it's a testament to how well Vaughn wrote it that it made me uncomfortable, but I still don't think I'm going to continue reading this series. That said, I'm glad I read this one, and am more than happy to try other things by Vaughn.

Last night I dreamed that I was living in this suite of apartments with a bunch of my friends. My partner-in-crime, my good friend J, my old college boyfriend C, and a lot of other people were there, running in and out of each others apartments, drinking, talking, etc. At some point I tried to have a cigarette with J but I couldn't find him (he spent most of the dream lurking around the edges). Tried to take a nap with C but it was too loud, so I got up to talk to some girls and realized it was 5 a.m. and none of us had gotten any sleep yet. Then the dream shifted, and I was in this woo-woo new-age shop that my godchildren's grandmother was running, and she was in the middle of leading a meditation so I snuck down to the basement to have a look around. I found a flyer with a picture of my younger goddaughter on it that said, in essence, "My granddaughter needs a new home, her mother died and I can't take care of her." And I got really angry because she hadn't called me about it, she was just going to give her granddaughter away.

So, yeah. Monday morning. This week looks to be busyish but not awful. And next weekend is a three-day weekend, hurray!

I'd better get my workday started. Good luck with yours, everyone!

another step

Last night we rearranged the office in our new apartment, and I think it's a much better use of space. I think I like it. now we just have to get rid of all the stuff we're not keeping, and then do a lot of organizing. And then decorate! It sounds like a lot still, but we're really getting there. I'm still trying to keep the freelance work to a minimum so I have time to deal with things at home. AND, I've started looking for a cat. Finally!

In other news, I've been slowly brainstorming about the series arc and sequel plotlines for my book. More to do on that, but I think I'm moving in the right direction. Once that's all sussed out, I can start editing this book, which I'm looking forward to.

I've read a couple books so far this year:

1) Ganymede by Cherie Priest. Third book in the Clockwork Century series. Love it! I love all of Cherie's books, honestly, but this series is so much fun. Steampunk! Air pirates! Civil War alternate history! Zombies! What's not to love?

2) The Saga of Swamp Thing. I read the first trade that came out after Alan Moore took over, and I have to say, this is a pretty amazing graphic novel. It's dark and moody and introspective, and has some great horror moments to it. I'll definitely be reading more in this series.

3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 8: Vol. 1. Love it! This picks up shortly after the television series ends, after Buffy has changed the world. I enjoyed it so much I went to the comic book shop down the block from work and ordered the next two trades. What can I say? The Buffy 'verse really resonates for me.

And now, I should probably get to work. Things are a little on the quiet side this week, so I stand a chance of catching up if I can find a little focus and motivation.

Imbolc

Happy Imbolc, everybody! Imbolc is a celebration of the early signs of spring. It is a time of purification and dedication. Brigid, goddess of healing, poetry, and smithcraft, is closely tied to this holiday. I'll be celebrating later today with a simple ritual, some wine, and a cleansing of my new apartment. Anyone else have any plans for Imbolc today?

apartment update

After another long weekend, we're still not quite 100 percent settled in the new place. But we're closer. The office still needs some work, but it looks worse than it is. There are several boxes in there that just need to go to the basement, and that will make a huge difference. The next couple evenings, I think, is all it's going to take to whip the office into shape. Then we can start thinking about things like curtains, new rugs, a coat rack, etc. Progress!

Things that will happen in the near future: Getting a cat. Editing my novel. Fixing up my desk. Getting caught up at work. MAYBE a trip to Vegas. Stay tuned for more updates!

a moving dream

About a week ago, I moved from Astoria to Williamsburg. Last night, I dreamed that my partner-in-crime and I had to go back to our old apartment to clean it out. When we got there, the whole neighborhood was sort of crumbling and returning to the elements. One side of our old building had fallen away, so the basement studio was wide open. There was an old mattress in one corner, and drifts of fallen, rotting leaves everywhere. There were porcelain dolls and coins and pocket watches and candy scattered beneath and around the mattress. Someone had built a wooden deck off one end of the apartment. It was completely overwhelming, and utterly fascinating. My parents and my younger sister, and a good friend's mother, came to help us clean up, but right when the landlord arrived to deal with things, we were expected somewhere else, so we had to leave and just hope our family would take care of the mess well enough.

I woke up really wishing I could hang out with my mom today.

We made good progress on the apartment. The bedroom is mostly settled now. We're contemplating rearranging the living room. The office is still definitely a work in progress, but it'll get there. And once we're done rearranging furniture, I'm getting a cat.

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

moved!

Two days ago, I finally moved out of the basement apartment in Astoria and into a two-bedroom apartment in Williamsburg. I have windows! And sunshine! And separate rooms! It's amazing. We're not totally settled yet; the kitchen and the living room are good, but the living room and my office need some work. It'll take a week or two, I think, to get through everything. But I don't mind that. I need to start a list of things we need for the new place. I need to go grocery shopping. I need to finish my freelance project! I'll get it all done. I'm just happy I finally have an office, with a desk that faces a window.

Happy Tuesday, everybody!

happy new year!

Happy 2012, everybody! I hope last night was full of good company and good booze and that today has minimal hangovers involved.
I made my list of goals for 2012:

• less work


• more yoga


• read fifty books


• spend fifteen minutes a day on myself


• finish/submit the ghost/witch novel


• finish novelizing Emmelina


• write two shorts


• start the fey folk/secret societies novel

Pretty good list, hmm? I think it's reasonable. How about you? Any goals or resolutions for this year?