one slip was all it took

Look at that. It's been two months again. I think one of my New Year's goals needs to be "pay more attention to social media." I keep meaning to blog more, and I keep just not getting around to it.
Several books to report:
31) The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. This book is horrifying. The culture it depicts is repellent. It's an interesting, important look at the direction our culture could go in if things go horribly awry, and I'm glad I read it, but I can't say that I'll put myself through it again.
32) Late Eclipses by Seanan McGuire. This is the fourth book in the Toby Daye series, and as always with this series, I loved it. I love the characters, and the way the action plays out, and how imperfect everyone is. People make mistakes. Sometimes other people die for them. This book isn't as bleack as book 3 was, but there's a real sense of desperation and loss in this one. And of building tension, like a storm is brewing. Really, this is some of the best urban fantasy I've read in years. Do yourself a favor and check it out.
33) Timeless by Gail Carriger. This is the fifth and final book in the Parasol Protectorate series. I loved the first four books, but this one . . . I have to be honest, I feel like this book is trying too hard.I wanted to know how the series ended, so I stuck with it, but I wasn't nearly as enamored with this one as I was with the previous books. Which was disappointing.
34) Stories edited by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio. This short-story anthology was hit-or-miss for me, but there were a couple stories in it that made it a keeper for me. Kat Howard's "A Life in Fictions" and "Joanna Harris's "Wildfire in Manhattan" in particular.
35) Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion. I loved this. It's such a different take on the zombie idea. I love the characters and how they evolve in relation to each other, and it's well written, and I thought the whole thing was really refreshing. I definitely recommend this one to anybody who wants a good story to read!
36) The Venetian's Wife by Nick Bantock. I enjoyed this one, but not nearly as much as Bantock's Griffin and Sabine trilogy. I don't think it's a keeper for me, largely because I don't think I'll reread it. But it's an engaging story and an enjoyable read.
I've had a hard time with books lately. I keep picking things up only to find that they don't appeal to me. It's strange. I have so many books I know I'll adore. I'm sort of leaving those be, for now, for the most part, to try the iffy ones first. I could always stop that and pick up something that I'm sure I'll love, but it's more challenging to sift through the unknowns.
My parents came to town for a week recently, which was really lovely, and now I'm on Christmas staycation. I'll really try to blog once or twice more before I go back to work in January. I'm also trying to get through some writing projects, and some things around the house that I've let languish while I have been doing an excessive amount of freelance work for the last two months.
Happy holidays, everyone!

breathed so deep i thought i'd drown

Well, everyone, I feel like I'm really starting to get into the thick of it. I'm delivering my manuscript in a week for that professional critique. I did register for Mary Robinette Kowal's workshop next June, "Writing the Other." I thought of another middle-grade book I'd like to write. I'm continuing to re-evaluate other aspects of my life, and I do feel like I'm taking steps in the right direction.
With those things in mind, I do have more work I should be doing right now, so I'll keep this brief. I have three more books to report:
28) Fray by Joss Whedon. This is a graphic novel in the Slayer mythos, but set in the future. I went into this read knowing I would love it, and I was not disappointed. I did love it. Melaka Fray is a great Slayer, complex, more sassy than Buffy, but also less knowledgeable. I really liked the ragtag family she'd built for herself. I'd love to read more about her. The storyline was solid, and I want some more!
29) The Coldest Girl in Coldtown. Ah, Holly Black, you kill me. Your books are so damn good. All the time. Seriously, this book was a lot of fun. It put vampires squarely where the belong: in the "predator" category. Tana is a fairly regular girl caught up in irregular happenings, and she handles them with aplomb and just the right amount of shock at the right moments for her to be quite believable. The Coldtowns are a great idea, and I love how this book takes our world and tilts it just a little bit so things feel familiar, but off-kilter. It's almost our world. Almost here and now. Except for the vampires. This is in my top five for this year. Definitely a keeper, and I'm already looking forward to reading it again!
30) Doll Bones by Holly Black. Yeah, I read two books by her in one month. October just feels like the right time for Holly's books. Doll Bones is a middle-grade book about a trio of preteens and what happens when their regular game takes on a life of its own. This is great creepy writing. It's a ghost story and a coming-of-age story all at one. Holly's books really made my October great!
And now, back to it. Two chapters left to edit, and a little tidying outside of that, and I need to deliver the novel on Friday, November 1. I can do it, I just need to say focused. On that note, I'll be back to report after I submit my novel for critiquing.
Happy October, everyone!

you can't choose what stays and what fades away

Happy Saturday! What's everyone got planned for their weekend? I've got a crazy amount of editing I want to get through, and shopping plans this afternoon with my friend K. Aside from that, the usual: tidy, laundry, balance the checkbook, play some pool, play my instruments.
I've been working on reprioritizing, so that the writing comes first, and I think I've made some good headway on that. I'm working my ass off on this draft. I've committed to getting it professionally critiqued in November. While the critique is happening I'm going to start working on the next novel, and I'll try to wrap up "Emmelina and the Rat King" as well. I really want to keep my momentum going. There's also that writing workshop next June. Registration happens in a week. Fingers crossed that I'm fast enough to get in when the registration opens!
Other autumn things: I'm starting to bake more again. The weather doesn't quite feel like autumn yet, but it's inching in that direction. Next weekend we're going apple picking, which I'm really excited about! I made sauerkraut, which turned out really well, and I also made fire cider, which only needs about two more weeks to steep before it's ready too. All in all, it's been a really productive couple of months around here. I'm dying to do a serious clean/purge of the apartment, but that'll have to wait until November as well. There's just not enough time in the day for me.
Two more books to tell you about:
26) St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves by Karen Russell. These stories are powerful. Uncomfortable. Raw. Extremely well written. This is a great collection of short stories by a great writer. The first three stories are my favorite. Ava is such a strong character, and I love reading about her family running Swamplandia. I can't wait to read the novel about them. "Haunting Olivia" is creepy and beautiful and heart-wrenching. And the sleep-away camp for dream disorders is brilliant and frightening. Karen Russell really has a knack for seeing to the heart of things, be they everyday happenings or otherworldly occurrences.
27) Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft by Joe Hill. The first book in the Locke & Key graphic novel series. Wow. This is imaginative, scary stuff. The art is perfect for the thriller of a storyline. The juxtaposition of actually possible (home invasion, moving to a new town) with the supernatural (ghosts in wells, magic keys) is smooth and well managed. The characters are believable, as are their reactions to things. If you enjoy thrillers or paranormal fiction or graphic novels or damn good writing, check out this series. I'm going to buy the next book on Tuesday I think.
And now, readers, it's time for me to move on with my weekend. I think next up is finishing my tidy. Blessed Be!

spill yourself at her feet

Happy September, all. And happy Mabon! That's technically tomorrow but we all know that entries two days in a row on this blog never happen.
Mabon: This is the second harvest festival, and celebrates the balance of light and dark. At Mabon we celebrate the abundance on our table and in our cupboards for the coming winter.
Vacation was . . . well, it was hectic. It was great to see my family and great to be out of the city, but it was a little stressful as well. I'm happy to be back in New York and settled back into my routine.
I have books to discuss!
23) The Kingdoms of Dust by Amanda Downum. This is the third in her Necromancer Chronicles, and I love this series. I love how flawed her characters are, and how vibrantly her settings come alive, and how the choices the characters have to make are never easy or black and white. Amanda, when are you going to write more books so I can devour them?? If you're a fan of fantasy, check out Amanda's work. She's a great writer.
24) Discount Armageddon by Seanan McGuire. This is the first book in her Incryptid series. As you all know, I ADORE her October Daye series, so I was excited to give this a shot. And I love the idea here. I love the story, and the cryptids, and the two opposing groups of the Covenant and the Price family . . . but I have to be honest, this didn't quite do it for me. I felt like the book was winking at me, a "Look how clever and funny I am!" sort of feeling. And there were a couple jokes that I felt were overused. Don't get me wrong, this is a well-written book, just like her other work. It's just not quite my cup of tea.
25) The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. People have been recommending this book to me for a couple years. Last year a friend pressed his copy on me, telling me I should read it. So I finally did. And you know what? It's a well-written book, with great characters full of depth. You know what else? It's depressing as all hell. Why didn't anyone warn me about THAT? It's cancer fiction! Which there's nothing wrong with, it's just not the type of thing I like to read. So I just powered through it. And really enjoyed a lot of the character interaction, and the sense of humor, and etc. But I knew form the beginning who was going to die, and spent the whole book tense, waiting for that. I can't enjoy books like this. It's extremely well done, and if you like books that make you sad, then check this one out. As for me . . . Well, I'll definitely read something less sad next.
I'm plugging along on editing my novel, thankfully. With the exception of the first half of chapter three, it's gone pretty well so far. We'll see if I can shift that into high gear so I can get through it and move on to the next novel(s). I also found a writing workshop that I want to attend next June; cross your fingers that I can manage it!
It's noon on a Saturday. I'm seeing a play at 3 p.m., which will be nice. I also have a list of things to get done, so I should probably get moving. Enjoy your Mabon weekend, everyone!

we've cracked the code

It's humid out. I'm a little sleepy, drinking coffee in my living room while I type. And in a few hours my partner-in-crime and I will get on a plane and leave NYC to visit our families. Hurray for a vacation! It's going to be a busy one, though. I hope I get some down time. And I should keep this short, since I need to finish packing. A couple more books to discuss:
20) Ravens in the Library, an anthology created to raise money for Sooj Tucker when she had some medical problems. It was uneven, as anthologies often are, but a keeper for me for a couple specific stories. Terri Windling's and Ari Berk's, specifically. They are two of my favorite writers. Everything they write is magic.
21) Nell Gwynne's Scarlet Spy by Kage Baker. I adore this book. The writing voice is terrific, it knows when to take itself seriously and when not to, and the characters are a lot of fun. This is related to the Company series, for those of you who are familiar with Baker's work, and I can't wait to dig in to those books.
22) Carpathia by Cecilia Woloch. I love this woman's poetry. Love.
Clearly I've not been reading enough; it's pretty disgraceful that tomorrow is September and I've only read twenty-two books. I'll have to work on that.
Anyway. My hope for vacation is to have some good down time and to get some editing done. Wish me luck, everybody, and I'll see you all on the other side!

tell mama all about it

Last night was not very conducive to sleep. Went to bed around twelve. Had a crazy intense dream. Woke up from that, and was so disoriented it took me a moment to recognize our bedroom, when my partner-in-crime came in to go to bed. I was awake for a while as he settled in for the night. The an hour or two later my darling little Zoe cat decided to go moth hunting. On the bed. Which was adorable, but kept me up for a bit. Then she wanted attention. Then we went to sleep. Then she woke me up later to let me know she was exiting the bed. I went back to sleep. Then the alarm went off to get up for work this morning. *YAWN* Needless to say, not a bad night, but a sleepy day after.
Without further ado, here is the dream:
I was in some sort of giant camp, a semipermanent thing, there were tents crammed together wall-to-wall, and lamps and rugs and such all over the place, and my partner-in-crime was there with me. I followed a path (I think someone was leading me, perhaps?) around and through tents and over other people's rugs, ducking under and around hanging lamps (the light felt very yellow for most of this), and then we came to a particular tent and that's where we stopped. There was an old woman who insisted I open a trunk (I think it was at the foot of a bed?) and put on a particular pair of boots from in there. I keep wanting to call them mukluks. They were definitely leather, with fur around the top and other decorative strips of fur around the ankles. My partner-in-crime copied me with the most similar pair of boots he could find. And then things . . . shifted. We were still in the tent, but it was fey folk and people all mixed together. And we sat down at this gorgeous rectangular (oak? pine?) dining table. I was at the left hand of this fascinating tree-looking man, he had appeared before us when things shifted and corralled all of us into sitting down at the table. (Think Pan's Labyrinth satyr, ish. But more treelike.) Anyway. I did something disrespectful, but it's hazy. Maybe I drank out of his glass? I said something impertinent? I know there was a glass in front of me as well, it was clear, with I think copper accents, and had a green liquid in it. Everyone had a glass like that. Anyway, I did something, he called me arrogant, and called two other fey over (they were tall like him, but hunched over and creepy and less treelike). They picked me up and carried me around the table while pinching me and tearing my clothing in punishment.
And that's when I woke up. I think that'll show up in a novel or short story at some point. Blessed be!

in these rags of wind

That's how I feel right now. Ragged. Summer usually does this to me. It just gets so busy, so full, and flies by. I can't wait for autumn. For cool nights at home, for sweaters, for a quiet couple of months in the company of good books and cups of tea. I also can't wait to see my family in September; it'll be a most welcome change of pace.
Three books to talk about:
17) Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs. This series is one of my absolute favorite things happening in urban fantasy right now. Mercy Thompson is a well-fleshed-out character. The secondary characters are also well-done. The werewolf pack politics are believable, and the complicated relationships between the different kinds of fey as well as between fey and humans are spot on. This is book four. At the beginning, Mercy is still recovering from the trauma she suffered in book three, and I found her reactions to things and her panic attacks to be on the money. I can't wait to read the rest of this series, when I get my hands on it.
18) Not Flesh Nor Feathers by Cherie Priest. An older title by a long-standing favorite author of mine. This is one of the Eden Moore books, and I have to be honest: While I did enjoy it quite a bit (Southern Gothic ghost story!), it's been so long since I read the other two Eden Moore books that I'd forgotten some of the pertinent information from them. Nonetheless, this is a keeper for me, and recommended to all of you. (I just need to work on reading series titles closer together!)
19) Baby Proof by Emily Giffin. This book made me really angry. It's about a woman named Claudia, who doesn't want children. She's happily married to Ben . . . until he decides that he DOES want children. They divorce. Claudia spends time being depressed. Meanwhile, every other woman in the book treats her like she's an alien for not wanting babies. And every other woman either has kids, is trying to have kids, or is going to have kids. Claudia keeps wondering how she and Ben didn't work out if he's her soul mate. At one point, someone says to her, "He wasn't your soul mate. If he WERE, you'd do ANYTHING to keep him. Even have his baby." And that is Claudia's lightbulb moment. Her "Being with Ben is more important than my desire to not have babies" moment. And as a woman in her thirties who doesn't want children, this infuriated me. This female character decided that having her man was more important than her own wants and needs, more important than her own decisions about her body and career and etc. What. The. Hell? Every woman makes whatever decisions they make, and that's cool, but the overwhelming message I got from this book is "Ladies, you should want babies, and if you don't, there is something wrong with you. If you don't, you will lose your partner and be sad and lonely and pathetic for the rest of your life. So start making babies!"I'm angry enough at this book that I won't read any more of Emily Giffin's work, and I'm no longer recommending her to friends.
Have any of you ever read a book that made you angry? Do tell.
And on that note, I have to get back to work, it's piling up. Happy Monday, everyone!

i used to sail the deep and tranquil sea

Gosh, it's been a month again. Sorry about that. I've been busy, but work is finally starting to become more manageable, so that's good. The flip side of that is that I've taken on a bunch of freelancing again, so my evenings are more full than they were. The writing has taken a bit of a backseat, although I did recently pound through a project that will get its own post sometime soon.
Today, I want to talk about two books I read, and then two writers who I admire.
15) An Artificial Night by Seanan McGuire. I love this series, the October Daye series. Love love love. Toby is an empathetic character. I love how the fey and the human worlds interact. The writing is great. And this one in particular was terrifying and beautiful and overwhelming all at once. Blind Michael, the bad guy, really creeped me out, and I am constantly in awe of how far and how hard Toby pushes herself to take care of those she loves. I need the rest of the series ASAP so I can find out what happens.
16) The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. Yes, it came out a week ago. Yes, I've already read it. And loved it. Deliciously creepy, this one, with many, many brilliant moments in it. I won't say anything at all about characters or plot, in case any of you darling people reading this haven't gotten your paws on it yet. I adore this book, like all of Neil's work, but I don't think it'll be my favorite. For as much as I loved it, I don't think I was in the right place for it. Which is a failing not of the book, but of mine.
And the authors: First up is Erin Morgenstern. I have rambled before about how great she is, and I really think that she is one of the best new authors I've read in the last several years. Her debut novel, The Night Circus, blew me away. I enjoy her blog on a regular basis. Last week I watched her interview Neil Gaiman at Symphony Space and she was charming and engaging. (And has great taste in boots!) Please, everyone, if you haven't done so yet, please pick up her novel. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Second up is Kat Howard, who hasn't even had a novel published yet. Five years ago she attended Clarion, a writing workshop. Since then she has sold several short stories, some of which she has links to on her blog, and I believe she has a novel under contract. I love finding authors this early. I love watching them grow. I love their excitement as their career takes off. It's so uplifting and heartening, and I love reading about Kat's journey in particular (she blogs here) because she's so honest and upfront about things.
I would love, in my heart of hearts, to take both of these women out for tea sometime and just ask them questions about their writing habits, about what books they love and why, about how they grew into the writers they are today. And maybe (fingers crossed!) someday, I too will be a writer new on the scene, so vibrantly excited about things and alive, just as they are now.

i wanna hear what you want

Lately I've had a difficult time with the blogging. I get here and I'm not sure what to say so I just natter on about unimportant things. To-do lists and weather and etc. Or I get here, I stare at the blank space on the screen, and then I leave again because I just don't have it in me that day. I want this blog to be a space I spend regular time. I want to talk about my writing, and what I read, and weird dreams I have. Maybe it'll pick up for me after this weekend. I'll have more free time again, I think. Is there something more or different I can do to facilitate more comments and discussion here? I know there are a few of you lurking out there reading my entries. Longer book reviews? More about my writing? Fewer weird dreams? Let me know. I like to think that a blog can be a good place to foster community and interesting discussion, if we want it to be.
A book: 14) Bloodangel by Justine Musk. I thought this book was great; it really got under my skin. It's paranormal fiction, dark and edgy and a little bloody. It's not your typical vampires and werewolves and etc. It's about a young painter with strange dreams, and a teenage orphan, and a washed-up guitarist, and how their lives intersect. The language is great, and it's well-balanced between action and introspection and exposition. I'd recommend this one to anybody who likes paranormal fiction; I enjoyed it enough that I looked around for other books by her.
Time to get back to work. I'll be back next week to talk about what I want to do in June. Blessed Be!

you're the prayer here inside me

Another two weeks of me being silent. Sigh. Well. Even though it's not obvious here in blogland, progress is being made. I finished the first draft of the short I want to use for my application to Viable Paradise. It's off being read by a few people right now so I can get some feedback. Work has slowed down some. Still busy, though. Summer is rapidly approaching, for which I am thankful. Mostly because of summer Fridays. While at the new job I get half-day Fridays instead of every other, it'll still be nice to have lengthier weekends. I'm really trying to keep the freelancing to a minimum, and still working away at my non-freelance to-do list. I want very few commitments this summer other than to write and make music.
Anyway, two books:
12) The Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare. This is such a good ending to the Infernal Devices trilogy. Everyone suffered, some expected things happened, some unexpected, and in the end I'm happy with how things worked out for Will and Jem and Tessa.
13) The Poison Eaters by Holly Black. This is a collection of short stories by one of my favorite writers. Holly knows how to craft a good story and interesting characters. That said, I felt like the collection was a bit uneven. None of the stories were bad, but I found some of them much more interesting than others. But it was a good read and a keeper.
And now back to work. It's taken me half a day to peck this out around work things. Blessed be, everyone!

drive another nail in

Remember me asking the universe to take it easy on me? Well. I came down with a sinus infection RIGHT after that. Really, April has not been my month. 2013 hasn't been my year. But I'm determined to not get bogged down in negativity. To keep trying to make things better.
The new job is still good. I'm moving into a slightly bigger office tomorrow, so that's exciting. I'm working on some fun books. I still think everybody's nice.
As far as the April to-do list goes, I have done some brainstorming on the next novel. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I have a start. There's more I need to suss out before I can actually start writing it, but that's fine because I've got another draft of the ghost/witch project to get through first. I've worked on the short story and the synopsis, but not the query letter. Maybe I can get to that this weekend. The first draft of the short story isn't done, but all I really need is a day or two with some solid time on it and I'll have a draft. Still proofreading, so that copyedit will wait until May. And I've made a lot of progress on the spring purging, but not so much on the cleaning. I've sorted/organized pretty much everything in my office. One or two more evenings on that, and then I'm moving on to the bathroom cupboard. Very exciting!
A book for you: 9) The Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare. This is book two of the Infernal Devices trilogy, and I don't want to get spoilery for those of you who are intending to read these eventually, so I'll just say I feel bad for Will, and am cheering for Jem, and am frustrated with Tessa. Good books, if you like YA and/or urban fantasy, you really need to check out Cassie Clare's work.
I need to get back to work. Things to do, and I need to get organized for switching offices tomorrow. Happy Monday, everyone!

am i drinking this bottle?

I feel like a broken record this year. Still busy, still stressed. Done with band until the fall. Done with my second draft. This month:

• brainstorm about new novel
• work on one short, and query letter and synopsis
• proofread a book
• dig in to a copyediting project
• spring cleaning/purging

I think that's enough. Don't you?
Two books:
7) Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. I really enjoyed this one. First book in a YA paranormal trilogy, but the narrator's a boy, and he's normal. There was a lot to enjoy about this one. Some really fun characters, Civil War history, and a different take on witches. It was also refreshing that there were no vampires or werewolves. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the trilogy.
8) The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters by Gordon Dahlquist. This book . . . I can't honestly tell you whether I liked it or not. I'm not sure. I really enjoyed some of the snappy writing. But sometimes I felt like it was winking at the reader. A look-how-clever-I-am sort of feeling. I liked the main characters. I liked the sumptuous feeling of the book. But I was a bit confused occasionally (which perhaps is due to my lack of consistent reading time) and don't really feel compelled to seek out the other books in this series.
As most of you probably already know by now, my purse was stolen on Sunday while I was playing my pool match. I've mostly taken care of things at this point; I really just need to replace my driver's license still. But I lost two writing notebooks when my purse got taken, and that really angers me. It's been two days now, and I still have a lot of emotion about this. Not to be dramatic, but I feel violated. Some asshole felt like he had the right to take my things and do what he wanted with them. Some asshole took off not just with my money, cell phone, and driver's license, but with two notebooks containing ideas, bits of poetry, friends' email addresses, autumn leaves, titles of books I want to read, etc. And I'm sure those notebooks (not to mention the purse) just ended up in a trash can somewhere. Which infuriates me. (I'm not even going to delve into what a mess I was yesterday between dealing with replacing stolen things and watching the coverage of the bombing at the Boston Marathon. Some days human society just completely disgusts me.) And it'll take me a while to feel comfortable at that bar again, which sucks because it's not their fault and because I'm there regularly for pool.
Hey, Universe, you think you could take it easy on me for the rest of 2013? This whole year so far has been pretty stressful, and I'd like it to ease off a bit.
Back to work for me, it's a busy day. I'll write again soon.

i've been a bad, bad girl

I just realized it's been a month since I last posted here. A month. I didn't mean to let the blog slide for so long, but things have been hectic. There's been freelancing, and extra band rehearsals, and pool nights, and long hours at the day job, and my birthday. So, in a nutshell, here's how I'm doing:

• Band: Two long days left, then I'll be done with this until autumn
• Freelancing: Still struggling to get things done, but I don't have nearly as much of this going on as I did in January/February, so that's progress
• Day job: Still enjoying the new job quite a bit. Good books, good people.
• Writing: Inching toward finishing this draft. I've gotten some great feedback so far. I have two chapters to finish revising, then I'll likely let this sit for a month or so while I think about how to approach my next revision.

So that's that. Progress, but still busy. In the next two weeks I want to finish a copyedit, finish my second draft, critique a friend's book proposal, and get my taxes done. If I manage more than that, great. But those are the goals.
Books. I've read a couple. Here's what:
4) Hammered by Elizabeth Bear. As always with Bear's books, I loved it. Great, gritty near-future sci fi. More, please! I need to get the other Jenny Casey books so I can devour them.
5) Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. This is also a great read. It's different for me; it was originally published in 1945, and I tend to read more contemporary books. But I quite enjoyed this; the language is great, and watching the Marchmain family slowly fall apart was fascinating, if a bit depressing at times. I know that might not be the best sell, but really, I encourage all of you to give it a try. It's a good book.
6) The Tellers (draft) by John Hague. Since this is unpublished I won't talk about the story itself; I'll just say that I think the edits are going in the right direction, and I enjoyed reading this quite a bit.
On that note, I've got to get back to work. I'll be back soon, after my band season is over. Blessed Be!

before the day is done

(WARNING: This post contains discussion of sexual violence.)
I'm going to be honest. I've been struggling so far this year. Some of it is internal: stress and new job and too many deadlines and a lot of emotional commitments and just AGH. Some of it is external: new job (yes, that counts both ways!) and old job and freelancing and what's been in the news lately. Today really got me; I was catching up on Kat Howard's blog, and hit on this post, which led me to Amanda Palmer's blog, and then on to news articles about Steubenville. And then I got really, really angry.
How can people treat other people like that, like they have a right to do whatever they want? And the bystanders . . . people were taking photos. Videos. People were uploading photos to the Internet as the abuse was happening, but nobody HELPED her. What is wrong with America that we raise our children to stand back and document the wrongdoing but not do anything to stop it? And that reminded me of that poor man who was pushed onto the subway tracks in front of the train in December. People took pictures. Nobody tried to help him.
I could go on and on about this sort of thing, about how I often feel like women are in an abusive relationship with America due to the prevalent rape culture in our country, about how so many of us have been abused but that doesn't make it right or okay or acceptable. But I think that my earlier anger short-circuited my brain a bit. All I am now is sad. Sad that a teenage girl can't be safe at a party with her friends. Sad that so many of us have to endure bullshit like that. And I don't want to be sad. I want to do something about it. But what? Does anyone out there have any ideas? How do we combat this sort of behavior? What do we do?

are you listening?

Settling in to another long weekend day of freelancing. No books to report, no exciting stories. I've just been working a lot. My last day at my old job was Wednesday. A lot of people came out to the bar after to say good-bye, which was really nice. I had hoped that this four-day weekend would be blissful down time, but since I'm behind on my freelancing, it wasn't meant to be. Next weekend is also a long weekend, I believe, so maybe I'll pull off a miracle and get my freelancing done by then.
The new job starts tomorrow. I hope I love it. I had a dream the other night that I started my new job and was given a huge, fabulous office with a window, but I had to share it.
Last night I dreamed. Most of it is fuzzy: something about traveling, on a train, and there was some sort of mystery or trouble. Here's what I remember: I was in a huge building (old apartment building, maybe?) that had a big, fancy, old-fashioned-looking elevator. I was in the elevator with another girl who was much younger than me, several partially full water bottles, and a cat (who looked somewhat like my Zoe). The girl was staring at this wall decoration on the back wall of the elevator. It was made of carpet, or some sort of weird thick paper, but if you looked closely there were words in the pattern. She said to me, "Bleeding heart isn't that much different from weeping eye!" (Maybe it was "sleeping eye"? I'm not sure.) I agreed with her and pointed out that we needed to find the other girl in our group, whose name I had trouble with but finally pinpointed as Allie. I kept trying to find a water bottle stiff enough to hold the elevator open if the door tried to close on it, but it wasn't working. Then a group of kids ran up and piled into the elevator. The cat ran, afraid of the noise. The kids asked what we were doing, we told them. A boy looked at us with pity and said, "You don't have your whole group. The elevator won't take you without your whole group." Then the kids commented on how crowded it was in there, and they closed the door in our faces and rode away in the elevator. So we went to look for Allie (and the cat). We went into this big auditorium on the ground floor, and there was a piano concert on, so we were twirling up and down the aisles trying to find Allie, and people were glaring at us. Oh, and earlier, I remember trying to make the elevator move, but I would just get a strange feeling in my stomach and the door would open on the ground floor again.
So that's that. Time to work for a bit, then do laundry. I'll report in later this week on the new job.
Blessed Be!

like i'm made of glass

I'm off to a bit of a rocky start with the blogging this year, I know. But remember how I said I had a few prior commitments I need to do in January, and then I would do a lot less freelancing? Well. January turned into madness. Two copyedits (the prior commitments), giving feedback on a friend's novel, band rehearsals, and I got a new job. So I've been working late most days to get everything in good shape for my coworkers to take over my books. Plus I'm still trying to squeeze in a few minutes here and there on my own novel. Oh, and I somehow joined the Sunday afternoon pool team at Boulevard. So, put that all together, and I am BUSY. Things will settle down after next weekend though. I need to be done with both copyedits by the end of that weekend. And I won't be scrambling to wrap up my job anymore.
I know it was yesterday, but happy Imbolc, everyone. Imbolc is a quiet holiday about purification and dedication. We did ritual last night with a couple friends who are becoming our regular company for religious observances. We created candle spells for ourselves to focus on what we need to happen in our lives in the coming months, and did a little dedication magic as well. It was nice. I'd like to incorporate more of my spirituality into my everyday life; that's definitely another thing I'll be thinking about more once I'm not running myself into the ground with work.
I read three books in January, which is a miracle given how busy I've been. Thank goodness for subway rides, that's all I can say about that.
1) Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. This book is CRAZY. It's a thriller about a missing wife, that's all I can tell you. It's smart, and horrifying, and witty as hell. If you like thrillers, or good writing, read this one.
2) Poltergeist by Kat Richardson. This is the second book in her Greywalker series, and I enjoyed this one as much as the first. I like Kat's setting quite a bit. Her books take place in Seattle and she's really captured the steady gloom with occasional bursts of beauty, and the weird history of the city. Her approach to the otherworld is really different than anything I've seen before. And Harper is a great flawed heroine. I recommend this series for anyone who likes smart urban fantasy.
3) Elsewhere by Will Shetterly. This was my first foray into Will's fiction outside of his Shadow Unit work, and I quite enjoyed it. It takes place in the Bordertown universe (if you're not familiar with Bordertown, check it out, it's great stuff). Will's language is sharp, his characters are raw in interesting ways, and I love that it's hard. There are no easy answers. You make your choices and you live with them, and sometimes that's not easy but all you can do is keep going. I really liked it, and am looking forward to reading the other fiction by him in my collection.
And now, as much as I could go on, I need to go freelance. The Super Bowl is tonight, so I'm hoping my partner-in-crime heads out to a bar for that so I can have a few hours of solitude this evening. That'd be pretty amazing.

thinking about family

Over the weekend, I read Neil Gaiman's blog entry on the death of his dog Cabal. I wept. What really got me about Neil's blog entry is that he wasn't able to be there when Cabal passed. And that made me think about my family, and how far away from them I am. New York City is 2,485 or 2,894 miles away from Eugene, Oregon, depending on which website you look at. Regardless of which answer is correct, that's quite a distance. I see my family once or twice a year, depending on money and weddings and babies and etc. And that blog entry made me wish I were closer to my family. It made me wish I could see them more often. It made me homesick for my family. And not just my family by blood, but my family by choice. I miss them all a lot, and most of the year I get by on phone calls and the occasional email. I'm not saying that I'm considering moving back west or anything . . . I don't really know what I'm trying to say. Maybe that someday I'd like to live closer to my family again. Something to think about.

i denied it all so long

Happy New Year, everybody! I know I'm a little tardy in saying that, but the new year really started with a bang for me. Party, then hangover brunch, then right back into work and freelancing. So, first, a loose end from last year. I did read two more books, to round out the year at an even forty.
39) The Chains That You Refuse by Elizabeth Bear. Stunning short story collection. Everything she writes is brilliant, as far as I'm concerned.
40) The Umbrella Academy by Gerard Way. This was a fun, interesting graphic novel. Different than a lot of the stuff I've read. Very gray area, not so black and white. I can't say that I was completely sucked in, but I was definitely intrigued.
Okay, onward. I've rejoined band for the season; there's some serious wind ensemble music happening, and some good Broadway songs. And it's nice to be back around other musicians; it's a good community, and I enjoy making music with other people.
My New Year's goals: To work less. To write more. To take better care of myself. I suppse I could break that down into monthly goals and whatnot, but that's a lot of effort and I'm fine with the vagueness for now. I will say for the writing, I didn't manage to finish my draft during staycation. So I'll finish it in January. My goal is to revise again in the second half of February, then submit in March. Then start writing something new in April.
And that's that. I wish I had more to share right now, but I don't. I'm just busy wrapping up prior commitments and playing with Zoe and being overly social.
Tell me about your New Year's goals!