random scribbles

It's five thirty. I should be going home from work now. But it occurred to me that I haven't blogged much at all this month, for all that I said I would be better. It doesn't help that the wireless internet we "borrow" at home hasn't been cooperating. And work has been quite, quite busy. Still, neglecting one's blog is not a nice thing to do. Even when there's nothing particularly exciting going on. So, let's see . . .
I went to the dentist this morning. First time in five years. I know, I know. Don't yell at me, the hygienist gave me an extremely effective guilt trip on behalf of my teeth. But then she went on to say that my teeth look really good, and I've been taking very good care of them, and she's very impressed. The dentist agreed. I do have a couple of teeny tiny cavities, but they will be easy to take care of. Easy. So, all in all, it was lovely to get my teeth cleaned. Just lovely!
Everyone at work was rather cranky today. A bit odd, I think. Something in the air, perhaps? Who knows. I wasn't cranky. Just everybody else. Perhaps it's the fact that we're really in the thick of the holiday season, with crash books jumping out at us and a lack of time due to Thanksgiving last week and the upcoming week off between Christmas and New Years. This ALSO means that the holiday parties will start up in a week or two. My company has several holiday parties. It makes the last couple weeks before Christmas pass very pleasantly, I think.
Let's see, what else . . .
I've written nearly forty pages this month. And I may have an inkling of what happens in the end of this book. I think that there will not be a huge climactic moment. No battle, no big drama. It will be a little more on the Charles de Lint end of the spectrum, where it is more about the inner climax, I think. Nor is having a hard time with her identity. She is confused about the jungle people believing she is a goddess, particularly because she wasn't sure of herself before that. So, is she a goddess, or isn't she? Is she free, or isn't she? Where is home? Who is home? Who/what/how does she want to be? I think that the climax lies in the answers to those questions. It'll be interesting to write through it. Any thoughts on the quiet climax idea? I'm hoping to finish my "exploratory" draft by the end of December. I have a lot of revision ideas already, which I think is good. But overall, I really do feel that my writing has gotten cleaner and tighter since the first book I wrote, and I'm very excited about that.
And now it's 5:40. So I should wrap it up and head home. There is freelancing to be done, and writing and making music, and some banana bread to make.

Online Wanderings

I sat down a while ago to blog. But then I thought "I'll just check a couple of my favorite blogs first" and a half hour later, here I finally am. The rampant creativity you can find on the Internet just astounds me sometimes. There are so many great crafty things out there, and so many great writers, and it's just an amazing way to find things. To learn things. Some favorites of mine are:
Inside a Black Apple - Emily's artwork is amazing and inspiring, and she has such a great voice on her blog. I hit that one every day.
Cabinet of Wonders - This one is best described in Heather's own words. "What we have here is a Cabinet of Wonders, a place where things of interest are set out, in possibly bizarre, possibly fetishistic presentation, for perusal by the discerning, who understand that presentation, and scientific interest, are all a form of magic." I LOVE it. It satisfies my itch to learn, and to explore.
Grow Wings - This is Laini Taylor's blog. She writes YA fantasy. I love Blackbringer, the one book that's been published already. Love it. The voice is entirely unique and it really drew me in. Definitely in the top five YA fantasy books I've read this year. I think part of the appeal about Laini's blog is that she's just so excited about books and about writing.
There are two blogs that sort of chronicle a first-time writer's experience. The Mortal Instruments and Feels Totally Naked Without a Margarita Shaker. Neither one is a how-to or a step-by-step guide. They're more full of excitement and passion about getting signed and watching their books become, well, books!
Anyway. That's sort of cheating in terms of posting, but I have, as per usual, several things I'd like to do today and haven't really started on any of them yet. In a nutshell, things at work are good, things at home are okay. The weather is finally moving into winter, which makes me really happy. It's time for cozy sweaters and endless cups of tea. My favorite time.
Had a dream last night, I don't remember much of it, really. I remember being in a room, my room, and being just exhausted, and then Workboy came in. I was trying to stay awake and have good conversation but it just wasn't working so he told me to just lay down and go to sleep. So I did lay down, and he laid down with me and just stayed with me until I fell asleep. There are other bits and bobs from this dream still in my head, something about packing a TV that was a computer, and someone was looking for me or something . . . It's very hazy. But that feeling of him just curling up with me while I drifted off to sleep . . . That was lovely. It has stayed with me all morning. And while it is strange because I've sort of let go of having a crush on him, it was still such a good feeling. I felt very safe. He made it okay to sleep. Does that make sense? I don't know. As per usual, I'm a little confused in my head about boys. That should be a whole other post sometime, I suppose. Time to go do some yoga. Happy Saturday!

Wednesday, Wednesday

Having a hard time controlling my anger this morning. It comes and goes, and any little thing triggers it. I was full of rage before I even left the house this morning, just because it's a mess and my b/f left his wet towel on the floor and after squishing a roach with my shoe he left it there and there was butter all over the kitchen table and just . . . AGH.
But then outside, on my walk to the train, everything was lovely. Clear blue sky, that crisp snap in the air that autumn brings, crackly leaves underfoot. Lovely. And for a few minutes I was happy. And I was happy to be going to work. I like my work. A lot. And my coworker who I've been covering for is back from vacation today, so work will be normal again! I actually worked up some excitement on my way here. But then said coworker beat me here and immediately started giving me a hard time when I arrived. I helped him carry some things to his workspace, and he panicked a little, I think, at the sheer volume of work waiting for him. But I did SO MUCH for him while he was gone. He said thanks, but . . . somehow I was hoping for more. Just more heartfelt words, maybe. I shouldn't fault him; I know I'd be overwhelmed, were I him. But it set me off again. so, back to the anger, although it is slowly ebbing away as I write this.
I've been extremely touchy lately. The littlest things can set me off into this terrible black rage. Maybe life has just gotten too complicated and I'm now on overload and that's where it comes from. But how to simplify? I wish life could just be work, writing, the lovely autumn sky, the leaves slowly changing color, and a couple good friends. And music. That doesn't sound so hard, does it? Sigh . . .
Well, the Christmas planning has begun in earnest. I bought a plane ticket yesterday, and I'll be home for nearly two weeks for the holidays. I've got most everybody's presents planned. I'm in good shape, I think. I just need to figure out how I want to celebrate Yule, and I'll be pretty set.
And now, after pecking away at this short little entry all day in spare moments, it's time for me to head home. Wish me luck . . .