my love has concrete feet

I've not slept well for the last two nights, so I feel a bit vague in my head. I'm sure it'll pass, but it's frustrating to be tired and lethargic when I have so much to get done. Last night it was mostly Zoe who kept me up, plus a sudden downpour early this morning. The night before it was partially Zoe and partially a strange dream or two (including one where my partner-in-crime and my best friend were driving me to the airport but then decided we had to stop for church service, and I was really frustrated and couldn't find my pocket watch, and then they disappeared and I thought I was going to miss my flight), but it was mostly my new recurring dream. Once every week or two, I dream that there's someone in my apartment. It's the same someone every time. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. Next time I wake up from that, I'm jumping straight into a ritual to figure out what's going on.
I'm slamming through a lot of freelance work right now as well, so there hasn't been any writing or much of a social life. I did go to paintball on Saturday evening for my partner-in-crime's birthday party, followed by the bar. Paintball was more fun than I thought it would be, honestly. And I walked away with only one humongous bruise and several little ones!
Even though I'm so busy, I'm still trying to simplify, to get back to the things that are important to me. After I finish this copyedit tonight I'll have more time, so yoga twice a week will start again, and I'll start back up with both novel and short story writing, as well as clarinet and bass. Don't worry, I'm not doing all of that every day. There's not time for that. My music concept right now is clarinet Monday/Wednesday/Friday and bass Tuesday/Thursday. Weekends are up in the air. I think I need to approach my writing the same way. Novel work on clarinet days, short stories on bass days, weekends are flexible. I'm going to try it.
I think my trip home will happen sometime around Halloween. My goddaughter's baby should be out of hospital around then, and I think it's decent timing for the other people I would like to see. Now I just need to find a reasonably priced plane ticket.
Here's what I've been listening to lately: the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack, Amanda Palmer's Theater Is Evil, and "Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence + the Machine.
And now, time to drink some coffee and get a lot done. Blessed Be, everybody!

wherever she may be

It's a sleepy Wednesday morning for me. Have I mentioned that my partner-in-crime joined a pool team? Well, if I haven't . . . Tuesdays are pool night. Which usually means not enough sleep. It's always a fun night out, but it makes Wednesdays difficult.
Anyway. Some good things on the horizon: a trip home for me sometime this fall. A couple of guests from out of town.Work is starting to slow down, I think.I should receive a box of goodies from a friend on the west coast sometime soon. Also, autumn. I can't wait for the weather to mellow a little more.
I discovered a band yesterday that I love. You should all check them out too. Rising Appalachia. Their music really speaks to me on some deep tribal level. I want to buy all of their albums right now.
Book! 26) The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken. This dystopian YA is quite good. Full disclosure: it STRONGLY reminded me of the YA book I wrote about kids with superpowers. I suppose that says something for the collective subconscious, since we were probably writing them around the same time. This is a dark, violent look at what happens when widespread panic and paranoia spirals out of control. It's about children around the country who are taken from their parents and locked up in camps after they develop superpowers. I definitely enjoyed this one, and will keep an eye out for more books from this author in the future.
I think that's about all I've got right now. We might be out of town this weekend, I'm not sure yet. I'm still working on not overloading with freelance work. I'm hoping to spend most of this evening reading and writing. And on that note, I'd best get to work so I can get out of here on time tonight. Backyard, group reading, and chapter 5 editing, here I come! Blessed Be.

dreaming of poetry

Sorry for the long pause there; between a crash book at work, two freelance projects at home, and beginning the search for a bigger apartment, I've had very little time for reading, blogging, writing, etc. It's a shame, really, because I feel like I've had a lot to say. And I've been dying for a nice autumn day in the park with some tea and a book. Maybe I can make that happen for a while Saturday morning. . . .

One book to report: 43) Birds of Paradise by Diana Abu-Jaber. I loved this book. Frankly, I love everything I've read by Diana Abu-Jaber; her language sings. This book is about a fractured family. The daughter ran away at thirteen. Five years later, the mother and father are struggling to hold it together, while the son, a college dropout, struggles to keep his organic market afloat. This book is really about a chance for redemption, and it's beautiful. If you haven't read any of Abu-Jaber's books, go to the bookstore RIGHT NOW. She's amazing.

Beyond that, I don't have much to report. I'm still restless. I still am lacking in time to do the things I want to do. Lately I've been really missing poetry. I want to start reading/writing it again, but I find it hard for my writer-brain to exist on the poetry side and the fiction side at the same time. Anybody have any poets to recommend, for new reading material? I'd love to get into some different writers.

I did go to a CD release party last week for Bess Rogers. I supported her album on Kickstarter. I really enjoyed her as well as her two openers. But going to her show really made me miss being in a band. Anybody want to jam, once my bass is no longer residing in my storage unit?

All right. Busy week at work; I should probably get to it. Happy Wednesday, everybody. I'll see you on the other side.

take a breath, dive back in

It's been over a week since my last post. Sorry about that; I just have a hard time sitting down and documenting, I guess. So, life since the last time we spoke . . .
K's visit was great. She was here for a week filled with sunshine and thunderstorms, museums and walks in the park, medical appointments and lazy mornings with big cups of coffee. K is one of those friends who is so comfortable, so easy for me to be with, that it's like we've never been apart. And it'd been almost two years since we'd seen each other last, so it was really nice for her to finally make it out to NYC. It was her first time here ever, so it was really entertaining to show her around the city! We also went to a concert. Concrete Blonde. They were AMAZING, as always! This year is the twentieth anniversary of Bloodletting so it was a greatest hits concert, of sorts. They played every song I could have possible asked for. The night before that I saw Patty Griffin---equally good, but totally different. Much more mellow. Concrete Blonde rocks pretty hard.
The best part of seeing K? I'll see her again in August, when I'm in Seattle, and I'll see her probably one more time later this year here in NYC again.
Ah, books. There've been a few, and I've been remiss by not talking about them. And here I am running out of time, so I'll just hit one or two. 25) Interfictions, edited by Delia Sherman and Theodora Goss. Full disclosure, I submitted a short to this collection, so was really looking forward to seeing what stories did get chosen for inclusion. And I have to be honest and say that I was not impressed with most of it. I understand why most of them got chosen, and the interstitiality of them. But I didn't think all the writing was very good. Sometimes the story was better than the writing, and sometimes it was the other way around. A couple stories really caught me, like Catherynne Valente's and K. Tempest Bradford's, but there just wasn't enough in this collection that I really loved, so it's not a keeper for me.
Happy Litha, everyone! It's that time of year again; Summer Solstice, when the days are longest in the whole year. According to the old calendar, this is actually Midsummer (which makes sense if you look at the length of the days).
And now it's time to go. More books next time, but now I'm heading home to play my clarinet and do some writing!

August?

Wow, where did August go? it's the 21st already. Wasn't yesterday the 6th?
Well, life has been busy. Or, occupied, at least. I've been sick; last week was a total wash, outside of work. But since the last time I blogged I have managed to finish draft zero of Emmelina and the Rat King and draft zero of the Winter Queen. I've received feedback on Nor from four people, so this weekend I'll dive into my last round of editing on that. and I've only got one freelance project going right now, so I'm not totally overwhelmed in my free time.
My parents are coming to visit for the first week of August, which I think will be a lot of fun. Any thoughts on what I should do with them?
(You know, I always have so many ideas to blog about, but then when I get here my mind goes silent!)
Two bands I'm considering seeing this fall. First, Rodrigo y Gabriela. They're so amazing! Such brilliant guitarists! Second is a band called Murder by Death that I'd never heard before today. A coworker was listening in his office and I was immediately intrigued. They're sort of indie Americana stuff. And their cellist is the hottest girl ever.
Anyway, there's been a lot of drama this summer. It's unpleasant, honestly. Friends breaking up, business partners splitting, family drama for some people, unemployment for others, friend drama for yet others . . . It's tough stuff to deal with, and it just seems like there's been a lot of it this summer. Hopefully the autumn breeze will blow all of that negativity away soon and we can start the next season cleansed and uplifted. I'm going to spend more time on my spirituality this fall, that's a sure thing. I find it harder to connect with the God and the Goddess here in the city. Not as much Nature, and I'm not comfortable practicing outside. I've got to make more of an effort though. I miss being more spiritual. Honestly, I miss the circle I used to practice with, too. And find it mildly disconcerting that two of the three others from the circle have gone back to Christianity since I moved to the city. That said, I don't need anyone else in order to practice. What I need is just to devote more energy to my connection with the world and the positive energy and the God and the Goddess.
Last night I had a strange dream: first there was something about catching two gorgeous large tabby cats (Maine Coons, perhaps?). Then there was something about these vines that were sent to me, that were wrapping around my arms to immobilize me, but I somehow ripped my arms out of them and knew that I had to disappear if I was going to solve whatever it was I was trying to solve. (Maybe something before that about driving away from a school-type campus, like Sheldon? It was night out?) Then I entered this huge underground compound to look for someone. I was with two other people, I think, both men. And there was a man playing the neatest upright bass I'd ever seen, and so I stopped to talk to him about it, and my two companions were really pissy about that. I wish I could remember more of this dream, it was really trippy and interesting. I think my younger sister was there at some point. Possibly my other sister as well. Agh. I'll try to remember more this evening. . . .
Also, three more books to report:
Ursula, Under by Ingrid Hill. This is huge, epic fiction, spanning two thousand years of ancestors who culminate in this little girl who falls down an abandoned mine shaft. It's poignant, and lyrical, and beautiful, and I felt very involved the entire time I was reading. I really, really enjoyed it. But in the end, I passed it on to a friend. A book like this is a serious commitment, and I just couldn't see myself undertaking it again anytime soon. But I will absolutely recommend this book to anyone who likes serious fiction.
Falling Boy by Alison McGhee. I enjoyed this one much more than I thought I would. It's about a boy who is paralyzed from the waist down who works in a bakery, and his relationships with the other people in the bakery. The slow unfolding of how everyone is related and the intricacies of their interactions is remarkable to watch. And the central mystery, how the boy was injured, is kept a secret until just before the end. This one's a keeper, I think. A good study on how we respond/react to the people we love; how we can hurt or heal them, even without realizing it.
The Boundless Deep by Kate Brallier. This one was also a pleasant surprise. Good writing, firmly rooted in the history of Nantucket. The characters are interesting and fun, the whaling history is fascinating. This book made me yearn for a trip to Nantucket. A keeper! (But fair warning for the more modest readers out there; this one has some steamy scenes!)
All right. Time to wrap it up and head home for the weekend. Stay dry!

the longest days

Summer hours have begun. Which I'm excited about, but this is only the second day, and adding forty-five minutes sure does make the day seem longer. And slower.
So. There are things online that I am coveting. I am looking for advice/input/whatever, my readers. Tell me what to buy, or what not to buy. Here's the list:

• Coolest T-shirt I've seen in a while
• Lovely owl marionette
• Mythical Creatures stamps from England
• This piece of art that would be adorable in my kitchen

I know, I shouldn't really be spending money frivolously like this. Especially so soon after buying new shoes! But can you really say that any of those things don't belong with me? They call my name, they whisper to me when I'm away from the computer. "Buy us, you know you need us, don't let us go. . . ." Anyway.
Listening to the Gladiator soundtrack. Oh, the angsty glory of a brilliant film score!
Okay. Twenty-one minutes until I can go home. Tonight will be full of freelancing and rhubarb muffins. And possibly a run.
Have a good one!

Sleepy Morning

I really struggled with getting out of bed this morning. It was so nice and cozy, and I was sleepy, and comfortable . . . Oh, well. Maybe sometime I'll give myself a staycation day that is mostly laying in bed, but today is not that day. Today is yoga, lunch with an old neighbor, some cleaning, maybe some writing, and maybe a movie.
(By the way, I tried to get here earlier this week. I really did. But it was another one of those weeks when everything that landed on my desk was urgent, and that does not leave a lot of time for things like blogging.)
That concert I went to last week? It was Emmylou Harris, Patty Griffin, and Shawn Colvin. At the Beacon Theatre. Gorgeous, gorgeous music. Just . . . amazing. I went with a good friend from work, and we were both utterly absorbed in the music the whole time. I need more music like that in my life. Really, if you're not familiar with their work, run out and get some!
Books: I was mistaken last time. I've read SIX books as of the last blog post, not FIVE. Only now I've read two more. First, The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. It was lovely. Lush writing, a twisty plot, interesting characters. High recommended. I was quite surprised by some of the things that happened in it, some of the paths the plot went down. But. This book deals with the nature of the relationship between twins. And I disagreed with it quite a bit. One character talks about losing her twin in terms of being an amputee. Two halves of a whole and all that. And being a twin, I beg to differ. Of course, if I lost my twin, I'd be devastated. Just like I'd be devastated if I lost my younger sister. Or one of my parents. But I wouldn't feel like part of me was missing. Does that make sense? Just because you share a birth with someone doesn't mean you're any more a part of each other than any family member is, and I get tired of seeing twin relationships represented this way in literature. However, that aside, this book really is beautiful, and you should all give it a try.
Second, Rumors, the sequel to Luxe, by Anna Godbersen. Again, so much fun! Drama, teen angst, love affairs, all set in the beauty of 1899 Manhattan! She stepped it up a bit this time. Now there's coercion, blackmail, and death involved. It's lots of fun, total guilty pleasure reading! And the descriptions of the dresses are divine. . . .
Oh, no! I just realized what time it is. Time for me to run. I've got to leave the house in half an hour for yoga and haven't taken a shower or anything yet. Have a good weekend, all!

Saturday morning

It's been a good morning so far. Leftovers for breakfast, and a big cup of English Breakfast tea with milk and honey, and the November issue of Vanity Fair, and a mixed CD that a good friend made for me a few months ago. It's been quiet, and relaxing, and good for my sanity. Maybe eventually I'll do the dishes, take a shower, get dressed, and do all those things I want to/should do today. But not yet. Right now I'm just enjoying my solitude.
It's time for some new music, I think. I've been listening to the same few CDs over and over again lately. Time to branch out a bit. But branch out with what? I don't listen to the radio much, so I'm not finding new artists that way. I do read Rolling Stone, and look up artists and bands that pique my interest, but generally I'm not really impressed with where more commercial music has been going. I'm still waiting for Tom Hayes to release some sort of recording so I can listen to him obsessively. (My dears, if you haven't listened to this man yet, look him up on myspace NOW and prepare to be utterly blown away.) I think that what I need right now, what I'm looking for musically, is something more organic. Something a little earthy, a little more real and true than a lot of what's available right now. Not asking for much, am I? If anybody out there has any good recommendations, I'd be much obliged if you'd share.
So, it's brainstorming time. I've been working on this novel for a few months now. I'd like to wrap it up in time for the first of the year. That, however, involves knowing the rest of my plot. I know I've talked briefly about this before, and what a problem it is that I don't know where I'm going. So, here we go: Essentially, my book is about a small group of slaves who escape from their owner. (Bear in mind, fantasy novel, so it takes place in an alternate world.) My characters flee through the desert, into the jungle, where they encounter some primitive tribal people. These tribal people are convinced that two of the escaped slaves are actually jungle goddesses and try to kidnap one of them. The escapees flee further into the jungle and are found by an envoy from the jungle emperor. He and his retinue "convince" my characters to go to the secret city in the heart of the jungle to meet the emperor. From here, I'm not sure what to do. Do the slavers from the desert city show up and demand their property back? Do my characters go back to the desert city and lead a citywide uprising against slavery? And what happens with the jungle emperor? Why does he want to see them? I think he tries to keep them; it goes along with the whole escaped-slaves-confused-for-jungle-goddesses idea. How do they escape? What do they do? Where's the climactic moment? Maybe there's no big showdown, no uprising. Maybe they just escape from the jungle city and decide to go their separate ways to find the homes they lost when they were captured by the slave traders. But a book without a climactic moment is lacking something. Maybe the climactic moment should be an inner struggle, not an outer one. I do focus on one escapee in particular. Her name is Nor. She has a really difficult time with the concepts of freedom and family since she's never had either. So maybe the climax is just her learning how to make decisions for herself, learning how to want, allowing herself to feel what she wants to feel. Hmmm. Thoughts?
On a further writing note, I was sitting on my stoop reading the other night and got an idea for another book. How many of these are floating around in my head at this point? Quite a few, I have to say. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to do anything except sit around my apartment and write. How amazing that would be . . .
Unfortunately, reality intrudes. I've got some things I'd like to do, so I'd best go do them before the BF gets home. But first, more relaxing, more reading, more music . . .