colorful but passing out

Odd dreams the last couple nights. In one I lived happily in a small town, the kind with sweet little antique shops and bookstores and cafés lining Main Street. I was sitting out front at an open-air restaurant at a long time with a group of friends. It was an idyllic moment: good company, good conversation, good food, good wine.
Last night there were two. The first one I only remember a flash or two. I was visiting friends at a decrepit, moldy house with my oldest goddaughter. It felt dystopian somehow, like the whole world was just scraping by. Then later I was at a riverside house. I was wearing all dark shades of blue: sweater, skirt reminiscent of a tutu, two layers of tights, leg warmers. It was cold out. We had to leave for some reason, so I went out onto the riverfront deck am stripped off my tights so I could put my feet in the water. There was a floating railroad tie chained to the deck for people to hang on to while in the water; I tried to put my feet on it hit it kept floating away. And then the fey rose from the dark of the river, pale and bloated and mysterious in their gold crowns, begging me not to leave.
And then this morning I dreamed about a serial killer. At first I saw the crime scenes. Then I watched him in action. He was tall, almost absurdly so, and slender mop of blond hair, black close-fitting stretchy clothing like a dancer. He waited at an apartment door until the couple opened it to leave, then knocked out the man with a kick to the head. Then tied the woman to a chair and began tormenting her; not hurting her, it was clear that that was to come and he wanted her well and truly freaked out before he got to the physical part. The aesthetics of the apartment looked very '80s to me. The way the killer staged everything and treated his victim felt like a performance. So . . . murder as performance art. Strange. Thoughts, anyone?
I've also read a few books so far this year. Not as many as I'd like, of course, a few is better than none!
1) TD by KA. Not published, can't discuss!
2) BC by AJ. Also not published, can't discuss!
3) Borderline by Mishell Baker. This is a great book. Quality representation of disabled and mentally othered characters, plus fey folk! This is well written, interesting urban fantasy with a good story and interesting characters. I would have liked the climax and denouement to take a little longer, but that's my only quibble. If you're looking for an urban fantasy, give this a shot!
4) Friends with Boys by Faith Erin Hicks. I can't say much about this graphic novel without giving something away, but there's a lot here for people to relate to. A smart teenage girl, family issues, navigating new friendships and the aftermath of old, all with a nice paranormal layer on top.
5) Roses and Rot by Kat Howard. No spoilers, since this isn't out yet. It's about relationships, about the ties that bind, about the power of art and of magic, about how far some people will go for success. This book destroyed me and put me back together one bloody piece at a time. The language is beautiful and visceral, and there are some particular aspects to it that got me right in the belly, lungs, heart. I will come back to this book again and again.
That's all for me tonight. Time for some taxes and some writing.
Blood and kisses!

another brick that i laid

So far this week has been pretty rough, because I have been trying SO HARD to do ALL the things so I can get caught up at work. Between my efforts and our new in-house freelancer, I'm really getting somewhere! But the consequence is that by the time I get home, I'm Zombie-Lauren. That's not fun. And it means there's no writing happen, which also isn't fun! Today will be my last zombie day though. I have to rest up Wednesday/Thursday nights, because this weekend I'm attending Mary Robinette Kowal's Short Story Intensive class, and I have to be awake and functional for that. I'm really looking forward to it! Hopefully it'll inspire some great short story work for me.
What do you all think of short stories? Love them? Hate them? Any favorite short story writers?
Onward and forward; there's housework and writing in my near future. Blood and kisses!

like a slow burn

March already. I can feel the shifting of the seasons every time I venture outdoors. I wish we could have a bit more winter! I enjoy being so connected to the earth and the cyclical nature of things. It's a grounding feeling. And I'm happy to see the back of February as it departs; that was a rough month for many people, for many reasons. Here's hoping that March is better for us all! For me, it means a return to my writing. I won't be freelancing like crazy like I was last month. It also means gardening time, and more reading time.
Are any of you reading anything great?
---
I typed the above last night on my phone, on my commute home. I didn't get around to posting it. This morning I found out via Facebook that someone I was close to in college passed away in the end of February. I keep trying to write, to read, to focus on something, but I'm distracted by thoughts of him. He and I hadn't spoken in several years. I'd been thinking that during one of my visits home I would reach out and we would go for coffee, catch up. Now I'll never get to do that. What a strange thought that is. I'm sad for him, that he had to leave the world at a young age, and I'm sad for the gaping absence now in his family. I'll grieve for him as best I know how: I'll put him in a story. Sam, yours was a hard road, and you did the best you could. I hope your next road is easier to walk.

progress!

Just a quick entry to say that my writing weekend was lovely, and on Sunday after returning from Philly I had brunch with two good friends and then finished two freelance projects. And then last night . . . (drumroll please) . . . I finished my restructure/rewrite draft of the ghost/witch novel! YES!! I'm sending it out to beta readers momentarily. And then digging in to my next freelance project. And spending fifteen minutes plotting out some of the changes I'll be making to my middle grade book. And cooking a veggie thing for my lunches for the remainder of the week. Productive!
What are you all up to these weeknight evenings?
Blood and kisses, everyone!

this is that missing post!!

GUYS. Today this post magically reappeared in my drafts. Computers are weird, weird things sometimes. Anyway. Here's that blog post I wrote that I was pissed about when it disappeared:

Anybody else think this has been a weird winter so far? The weather has been strangely warm in NYC, except for about two weeks of cold and one snowstorm. Which was a hell of a snowstorm, true. But it's the last day in January and it's 52 degrees out. Something is NOT RIGHT, I tell you!
Anyway. I'm happy to be moving on to February. I did take a few freelance projects for this month, but I'm determined to keep writing regularly. And I might take a week off; I have those rollover vacation days that need to be used up, so why not, right?
I've made some good writing progress so far this year. The most important thing is that I have three pretty regular writing dates now, which is AWESOME. Dedicated work time. I do occasionally use that time for other things (like right now, this blog post!) but it's so nice to have that time set aside every week for not-freelance, not-housework stuff. I'm super close to sending the ghost/witch novel out to beta readers for a last go-round with feedback and further editing. Just a few instances of (ADD XX) or (CHECK THIS) to deal with throughout the manuscript! And I've started to rewrite the entire first section of Emmelina. Everything until the quest begins. It really wasn't working before; Emmelina's character wasn't consistent, the reasoning for the quest wasn't ringing true, etc. I think it's going to be much better with the changes I'm making. And I've done a smidge of writing on Janny. Not a lot, but some is better than none. And I've been spending some time thinking about what scenes I still need to write and how to stitch everything together. Overall, a good writing start to the year!
Let's all think good thoughts for February; it's got to be better than January, right? January set a pretty low bar, after all.
And now, back to the writing.

Back to today. I'm in Philly for a writing day for a couple of friends. It's so nice to not be in the city, to not be distracted by house and work and etc. etc. etc. I'll be finishing a couple projects today, and making progress a couple others. So in an effort to not be distracted from accomplishing things, I'm going to get to it.
Blood and kisses!

seriously?

That moment when you realize your computer ate the whole long blog post you wrote the other day. 
UGH.
This is indicative of how my year feels like it's going, so far. Damnit. I don't even remember what I talked about. Blah blah, writing process, blah blah books I'm reading, blah blah work is intense so far this year. That probably about covers it.
DAMNIT. I'm too frustrated to write a real blog post right now. I'll try again in a few days.

enough already!

When David Bowie passed away earlier this month, I wrote a blog post about it. And then Alan Rickman died. And the I scratched my cornea. And then a coworker passed away. And then I got a nasty winter cold. For each of these things, I thought about writing a blog post, and just never got to it. And now all I can really say is, what the hell, 2016? You're supposed to be better than your predecessor, but that was a pretty shitty start! The rest of this year better be an improvement. The bar is low. You can do it, 2016. SHEESH.
At least I'm feeling good about the writing end of things. I have two weekly online writing dates, plus the critique group, plus all my VP and WtO classmates to talk writing with/swap crits with/etc. Slowly but steadily, I do feel like I'm creating the life I want to be leading.
I've been doing a lot of cooking. Kale pesto, spinach pesto, banana bread, homemade granola, soups, vegetarian enchiladas . . . I'm trying really hard to use all the farm share produce and all the food my roommate brings home from her catering gig. It's been a little intense! But I'm really enjoying spending more time in the kitchen. There's something meditative about it, and it's totally different than anything else I've been doing.
And on that note, it's late, I should go to bed and hope tomorrow is an improvement, healthwise. Blood and kisses, everyone!