why do we

Happy Monday, all. How were your weekends? Mine was pretty good. Friday was writing time and then a bar with friends. Saturday was the Metropolitan Museum of Art followed by a Mets game and an evening out. Sunday was a beautiful afternoon gardening with my partner-in-crime followed by a good author reading at Word in Greenpoint. N. K. Jemisin and Paolo Bacigalupi. They were both very personable and entertaining, and there was a brief but good conversation about world-building after they both read from their new books. I am much more inclined to read Paolo's YA books now that I've seen him do a reading. Before last night I wasn't particularly interested, mostly due to the issues I had with his book The Windup Girl. 
And now it's back to the grind. It should be a decent week; work is heavily weighted toward the beginning of the week, so there'll be plenty of time to get everything done, even if it doesn't all happen on the day it's scheduled. I've got some fun things happening in the evenings this week (crawfish! writers group!) but there should be plenty of time to work on the novel and the apartment.
A book for you: 14) Skinwalker by Faith Hunter. I really enjoyed this piece of paranormal fiction. It involves some Native American folklore, plus the usual vampires and witches and such, so that was a nice breath of fresh air. The main character is interesting, with all of her flaws and contradictions. I can't say too much because I wouldn't want to give anything away, but I felt like the premise was well-executed, and I didn't see everything coming before it happened. I think my only complaint is that there was a little too much lust between Jane (the main character) and nearly every male character in the book. But I was willing to overlook it since the rest of the story was so enjoyable. Definitely recommended, and I'll be looking for the rest of the series.
Here's a question: Do you like my book mentions brief, as they are, or would you all enjoy them more if I went a little more in-depth about the books I'm reading?
Strange dreams last night. I had four familiars. A cougar, a bear, a fox, and (I think) a hawk. The cougar came to me first, while I was on the train. Which, understandably, caused a lot of panic. I thought the cat was trying to eat me, and I eventually managed to wrestle it into a headlock until the train came to a stop and the doors opened. After the other passengers disembarked, I released the cat and fled. I went to an information counter and started telling them to call animal control. And then the cougar sauntered up, like she was waiting for me to figure things out. Things are fuzzy after that, but I went somewhere and they explained to me that she was my familiar, and then ushered the other three familiars into the room as well. Later in the dream I was taking a walk in a snowstorm with a man and a woman, both of whom had brown hair and were bundled heavily against the cold. She was carrying a guitar, and as we crossed a bridge somehow slipped down the river beneath us. The man ignored her cries for help until he was done with what he was saying to me, at which point the woman (his sister?) had managed to climb back up. After that I can only recall a vague moment of someone shouting "Save the queen!" and I was there with my familiars. There was another dream earlier in the evening, I was at my old coworker M's house, and hadn't seen her in a long time. She had two beautiful little girls and was happily married, but her husband wasn't home then. We just chatted, and I played with the kids, and slowly other people trickled in like there was some sort of gathering going on. I remember being vaguely put out that I didn't even know she had children before I showed up at her house. And a third dream: I was walking somewhere to meet a couple of my friends (one of them was my friend J, but I don't recall who else), and my shoes fell apartment, so I snuck in through a back entrance to a shop and was trying their shoes on. I feel like the shop was underground but I'm not sure. My friends caught up with me there; there was a cute dog that we were all petting. I bought some sandals. We all went to this weird empty warehouse-type office building, and were all sitting around one room, and we all got sick.
And now I have to get to work. Blessed be!

the same secret door

I survived last week, just barely. Made it through the band concert. Finished the rush freelance project. And then spent Monday and Tuesday this week in a complete fog, which means I've got a lot to do at work now. This week has been good so far: a screening of Serenity at a local bar, Beltane ritual, and some time on my novel. I'm considering this the first official week of unfucking my life, and so far, it's been good. I'm starting simple. Work on my book, finish a project or two around the apartment, make sure to take some time to just relax. As long as I hang on to my zen about things, I'll get everything finished just fine.
And speaking of, I should get going with my work. I'm hoping to do some filing and recycling this week, but that involves getting enough work done first.
Blessed Be!

i touch the place where i'd find your face

Just a quick hello today, since I've got a lot to do today before I take tomorrow off. This week has been forever long already because I've got a rush freelance project. But I'm feeling optimistic about getting it done on time, thankfully.
Big news: Zoe slept in bed with us last night! She was skittish about it at first, but then happily curled into the crook of my elbow for most of the night. My arm apparently makes a good headrest. She even let my partner-in-crime pet her for a minute.
My band concert is this Saturday night. I think it'll be a fun show. But honestly, I'm really looking forward to May. No band, no rush freelancing. A couple of author events, some work on my novel, some flea marketing . . . that's about all I've got planned for next month so far. It's going to be SO NICE to have some down time. And some time to work on unfucking my life, as I mentioned before. I've got crazy long to-do lists for each room in my apartment, and I'm itching to get started.
Two books:
12) Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Volume 3: Still loving these!
13) The Red Tree by Caitlin R. Kiernan. This book is creepy. CREEPY. Kiernan did a great job at slowly but surely ramping up the tension. I really felt for the two women staying in the farmhouse near the tree. All the "historical" stuff added an interesting level of fear and drama, and I liked the overlay of Sarah's dreams atop the everyday weirdness. Scary books aren't usually my thing, but I really liked this. Recommended.
Happy Thursday, everyone, and have a good weekend.
Blessed Be!

like a ghost into the fog

That was a long but good weekend. Friday night was a fun drag show followed by a late night of good conversation with J. Saturday was the Drowned Ball; my five cohorts in crime looked great, and we had a really good time. Sunday was brunch and then a lot of freelancing and housework. And now here I am back at work again. It's a blustery Monday morning, very beautiful and Oregon out, and I wish I could just go walk through the city for a couple of hours. Ah, well, maybe later.
I dreamed last night about a little boy wearing a sea turtle costume. Maybe he was six, maybe eight. He was sad, or sick; somehow he was broken. A humongous sea turtle crawled up to him and said "I can make it all better if you come with me." It turned and headed for the beach, the little boy by its side. When they got to the beach, which was lined with people laying on towels and sitting in plastic beach chairs, the sea turtle ponderously swam out a little way and called back to the boy, who was standing in the shallows, "Call the tides!" I'm not sure what the little boy did but suddenly the waves were lapping higher and higher on the beach, crashing over the beachgoers, who weren't leaving. I ran down to the water, shouting to the boy, "Wait, wait! Stop!" Another woman appeared. She looked angry. She moved to the boy and spoke to him in soothing tones, encouraging the tide. Then she stood up and approached me. "Leave him alone. He is my child now." I protested and we ended up rolling in the surf fighting. We chased each other up and down the beach throwing punches and smashing each other's faces into the sand. When we finally stopped we were on the boardwalk near the beach. I looked out; all the people were gone and the ocean was calm. The little boy approached. He took the woman's hand and together they walked away.
And with that, I really must get to work. Next time: a book or two.
Blessed Be!

spring cleaning

I've been in a funk off and on for the last couple of weeks, and I've decided that it stems from the lack of balance in my life. Yes, balance again. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something that needs to be done, that needs to be dealt with, that needs to be fixed. I am constantly on the go, continually working. But I am not sure that it's happening constructively. So this is going to be the goal for the next little while. I'm unfucking my life, as Cat Valente would say. And this applies to every aspect of my life. My apartment. My day job. My freelancing. My writing. My relationships. My music. All of it. I'm still pondering the best way to go about this, but I can tell you this: The first step is to get my social life under control. I love all my friends, but I have been out too much, too late, too often in the last couple of months and I need to rein that in. I can't unfuck everything else if I'm exhausted from being out all the time. This is not to say that I'm not going out at all. Just that I am going to be more particular about it. The second step, I think, is to take a break from freelancing after the project I have right now. A two-week break, at least. Unless one or two very particular things happen, I'll be giving myself this break. This, plus less socializing, will give me the time to figure out how to approach everything else.
Anybody care to join me in the unfucking process? It's going to be a beautiful thing, I think, once I get the ball rolling.
And in that spirit, happy Friday, everyone, and it's time for me to get some work. I hope you all get to sleep in tomorrow and spend some time doing something you love.

briefly

Sorry it's been radio silence for the last week. I've been sick all week, and it's really just taken all of my energy to muddle through the workday and my freelancing at home. So, just a couple brief things before I get down to work. Two books:

10) Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin. This is the sort of timeless middle-grade book that I adore. The writing is accessible but not overly simple. The story is great. The characters are easy to empathize with. It's really just a well-executed folklore novel. It's about a girl named Minli who sets out from her village to improve her family's fortune. Definitely recommended for everybody.

11) Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. I've read this book before, but it's probably been fifteen years, so my recollection of it was more based on the movie than the book. The writing here is lush, the world-building is evocative, and the characters are intriguing, Claudia in particular. It really made me want to go back to New Orleans and live in the French Quarter. But Louis . . . he's whiny. And self-absorbed. While I understand that of course he would come across that way, as the whole thing is from his point of view, it was still occasionally grating.

I'm now reading a book by Caitlin R. Kiernan, and after that I'm hoping to plow through some of my BEA books from past years, as that's coming up (only two months away!) and I'm definitely going again.

I have a freelance deadline on Monday, which means that next week I'll be frantically working on my novel rewrite before my next project lands. I may take most of May off from freelancing, tempting though the money may be. It's hard to be constantly working. But speaking of my novel rewrite, I think I am at the place where I'm ready to actually start writing again. I'm really looking forward to diving back into it.

Not last night but the night before, I dreamed that I was out in a park somewhere walking my dog when I was snatched by two guardsmen and hustled through a secret door into an elevator that swept me up into a penthouse apartment where my makeup and hair was done, and then I was given more stylish clothing. Then I was forced into a lunch date with a young man of some sort of royalty; apparently the royal family was looking for a good match for him. I was pulled partway through because I didn't give suitable answers to what the young man said to me. They gave my dog back to me afterward. A year later, he decided to look for me because I'd made him laugh. That's really all I remember.

And now I should get back to work. This weekend I'm hoping to fit in some shopping and a beer tasting around finishing my freelance project, but we'll see. Oh, and maybe a movie. Blessed Be!

hanging out with the dream king

Three dreams last night, or possibly one long one and I just don't recall all the connective tissue of it. . . . Anyway.

I was dying. Maybe. there was something wrong with my heart and my lungs, and my doctor said if I didn't die that day, I would start to improve, but that I would likely die. I was in the car--my partner-in-crime was driving--and feeling very weak and tired. We stopped somewhere to pick up my good friend J, who got into the front seat with us (it was a bench), put his head in my lap, and asked me not to die. The three of us went to a big outdoor picnic area, where we were having a gathering of all my friends. (Here's where I'm missing a bit.) The next thing I remember is fleeing the picnic area because a bear showed up. We were running up a mountain, through pine trees, and I was carrying somebody's child. We finally found a slender pass between two rock walls that we could barely slip through, leaving the bear behind. I was trying to calm the child, who seemed oddly intelligent for someone as young as he was. (Here's where I'm missing a large bit.) Then I remember being in an airport with my family. I don't actually remember who had just arrived. But we left the airport, and for some reason I went to this empty house that I was supposed to clean up/take care of, and I didn't. I slept a lot, ate what I could find when I was hungry, and generally hid from the world in this house. Until the day the movers came and I hadn't dealt with anything. The neighbor came over and found me in the closet, and together we started packing up the house.

Dying, running, and hiding. I wonder where all that came from.