Wednesday, Wednesday

Having a hard time controlling my anger this morning. It comes and goes, and any little thing triggers it. I was full of rage before I even left the house this morning, just because it's a mess and my b/f left his wet towel on the floor and after squishing a roach with my shoe he left it there and there was butter all over the kitchen table and just . . . AGH.
But then outside, on my walk to the train, everything was lovely. Clear blue sky, that crisp snap in the air that autumn brings, crackly leaves underfoot. Lovely. And for a few minutes I was happy. And I was happy to be going to work. I like my work. A lot. And my coworker who I've been covering for is back from vacation today, so work will be normal again! I actually worked up some excitement on my way here. But then said coworker beat me here and immediately started giving me a hard time when I arrived. I helped him carry some things to his workspace, and he panicked a little, I think, at the sheer volume of work waiting for him. But I did SO MUCH for him while he was gone. He said thanks, but . . . somehow I was hoping for more. Just more heartfelt words, maybe. I shouldn't fault him; I know I'd be overwhelmed, were I him. But it set me off again. so, back to the anger, although it is slowly ebbing away as I write this.
I've been extremely touchy lately. The littlest things can set me off into this terrible black rage. Maybe life has just gotten too complicated and I'm now on overload and that's where it comes from. But how to simplify? I wish life could just be work, writing, the lovely autumn sky, the leaves slowly changing color, and a couple good friends. And music. That doesn't sound so hard, does it? Sigh . . .
Well, the Christmas planning has begun in earnest. I bought a plane ticket yesterday, and I'll be home for nearly two weeks for the holidays. I've got most everybody's presents planned. I'm in good shape, I think. I just need to figure out how I want to celebrate Yule, and I'll be pretty set.
And now, after pecking away at this short little entry all day in spare moments, it's time for me to head home. Wish me luck . . .